5 Steps to Change the Story the Voice in Your Head is Telling You

We all have that voice in our head, the one that keeps reminding us that we’re NOT. NOT good enough, NOT smart enough, NOT pretty enough, NOT whatever. That voice, though it sounds like you, isn’t. It’s a voice that has developed over time, made up of phrases others have said, or feelings you have felt. It’s a voice that shapes your day and ultimately shapes your life. It influences your decisions and often leads you in directions you know you don’t really want to go. The good news, you can change the story the voice in your head keeps telling you. It takes some work, it takes some time, but when you change that story, you can change the direction of your life.

5 Steps to Change the Story the Voice in Your Head Is Telling You

1 - Realize when the voice starts talking.

The first step is to realize that there is a voice and that it’s telling you a story. You can recognize when the voice starts talking by the negativity. It usually says something like “I’m not…” or asks questions like “Why do things like this always happen to me?” The problem is this voice isn’t very accurate. It has a very limited perspective and it’s usually focusing on something bad and can’t see anything else. It imagines the worse case scenario and plays that out in your mind as the only way this situation is going to turn out. When the voice continues to ask negative questions you’re never going to get positive answers. So the first step is to recognize when this voice starts to take over your thinking.

2 - Record what the voice says.

After you realize the voice is talking, you need to listen to it and write down what it says and how you feel. Yes, that sounds weird, but stay with us. It’s important to write down what you are feeling and what the voice is saying so that later you can come back to it to review. Because if you’re like everyone else, you will convince yourself you weren’t really feeling that way as time passes. But you were and to change the story you need to remember what it was.

3 - Review the story.

This builds on the second step. It’s why recording what the voice says and how you feel is so important. Often after a few hours or days you can look back on what the voice was saying and see how ridiculous it is. You recognize that the story it was telling you isn’t true. Sometimes you’ve been telling yourself that story for so long you may still believe it and you need to evaluate it more closely.

There are a few questions you should ask:

Does this story hold you back or does it empower you to accomplish your dreams?
Is this story 100% true and can you prove it?
Ask questions like, “When I hear this story, how does it make me feel?” “How do I treat myself and others because of it?” Or “Who am I when I have this thought in my head?”
Who would you be without this thought? How would you feel and how would you treat yourself and others?

After reviewing the story and realizing that it is a story that isn’t true, you’re ready to take the next step.

4 - Rewrite the story.

The story that voice is telling you is only one way of understanding what you have been through or are going through. It’s time to look at it from a different perspective and to rewrite the story. Look for any positives and use those to edit the story in a way that empowers you. Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” Quit letting that voice in your head tell you that you can’t. If you keep telling yourself the same negative story, you’ll keep getting more and more of the things you don’t want in life. So write down the new story, the story about how what you have been through has empowered you, made you stronger, braver. Those things you thought were liabilities can be assets. Don’t let the old story become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

5 - Repeat the new story.

Once you have that new story, a better way of looking at your circumstances, you have to repeat it. Every time that voice starts telling you the old story you have to interrupt it. Say, “That’s not true.” Then begin to tell yourself the new true story. This isn’t a quick fix. It’s something that takes time and practice. That old voice is familiar and has probably been around for a while so it won’t go quietly. But it will go over time.

The more we tell ourselves the new true story, the more it will become reality. If we don’t, we can be stuck as victims in a bad story, without control and often without hope. But you do have control. You have the power to edit and to author your story. So it’s time to kick that old voice out, pick up the pen and begin the story you want to live.

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My Partner is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, But I’m Not Sure

February 10, 2026

An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever. Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

January 23, 2026

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

How to Handle Holiday Gatherings When You Haven’t Shared Your Pregnancy News Yet

December 17, 2025

Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try: Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .