7 Things to Ask if You’re Pregnant and Considering Adoption
Finding out your unexpectedly pregnant is often a traumatic experience. The questions begin running through your mind faster than you can process the answers, if you even know the answers. Eventually, your mind slows down and you start to really consider your options. Should you keep the baby? Should you go through the adoption process? Or, is an abortion the best option? Tough questions and usually tougher answers. For some women, adoption is the best option. We don’t like the term “giving a baby up” for adoption, because it’s not about giving up, it’s about choosing a life for your child that you can’t provide due to your current circumstances. If this is an option you’re considering, choosing the right adoption agency is important.
To help you find the agency that is going to be best for you here are 7 questions you should ask if you’re pregnant and considering adoption.
1. Does the agency discuss all of your options with your pregnancy?
A good agency will discuss and make sure you understand all of your options. They should want to get to know you and make sure you want to place your child for the right reasons. If they aren’t presenting all the options, they may not have your best interest at heart.
2. Do they thoroughly explain the adoption options and discuss the possible outcomes?
There are several different types of adoption and the agency should make sure you understand them all and help you determine which is the best option for you. They should also be willing to discuss the possible outcomes. Unfortunately, not all adoption processes have the happy ending everyone wants. They should help you prepare for all the possible scenarios and weigh the risks involved as well as the benefits of each option.
3. Will that agency help me during and after the adoption process?
Will the agency help you find insurance or medical coverage if you don’t have it? Do they provide or help you find information about your pregnancy and what you should expect? Will they be there after the adoption if you need to talk to someone? It is not unusual for grief to hit after an adoption, sometime a year or two later. Will they be there for you?
4. What are the requirements of adoptive parents?
It is usually comforting to know what training, background checks and other things are required of adoptive parents. This information can help you decide if the agency is a good fit and if they have a good group of possible families for you to choose from.
5. What happens if I change my mind about adoption during the process?
Obviously the agency is in the business of coordinating adoptions. If you change your mind and decide to parent will they support you, or will they pressure you and guilt you into completing the adoption? Questioning your decision to place for adoption is normal and ideally they will be there to discuss why you are considering changing your mind and help you process if those are good reasons. Ultimately you should follow your instincts on this one.
6. Does the agency offer any counseling or other resources to help me in life outside my pregnancy?
You’re considering placing your child for adoption, so something in your life made you question whether you are ready to be a parent. Perhaps it’s circumstances around your schooling or employment. Maybe it’s money or your relationship with the father. It could be that you don’t feel you have the support you need from family to parent. Whatever the circumstances, will the agency help you find a way out of the current situation and move towards a better future?
7. Does the agency provide references and allow you to talk to previous birth mothers who placed for adoption?
Will they give you a list of references you can call? Sometimes talking to someone who has been through the adoption process before can not only confirm the reputation of the agency, but also be helpful for you to talk with. Now the agency may only give you references they know are going to give a glowing recommendation, so be sure to check out online reviews as well. There are even some resources that compile online reviews of most of the larger agencies in one place so you can compare them all at once.
Adoption is a big decision, a hard decision and one that is often made when both the best interests for the mother and child are considered. But it’s not a decision that anyone should be pressured into making. If you’re thinking about adoption but would like to talk to someone before contacting an adoption agency, our team at Collage would love to be there for you to ask questions and weigh all your options. You can contact us through the website or by giving us a call (308) 234-9880 to reach our Kearney office or (308) 675-2217 for our Grand Island office.