Co-Parenting After An Unexpected Pregnancy
December 20, 2020
You’re facing an unexpected pregnancy, but your relationship with the father is over. Can you possibly parent this child together even though you aren’t together? Yes. Though it might be tricky, co-parenting after an unexpected pregnancy is possible.
First, if you’re single and unexpectedly pregnant, you aren’t alone. Each year in the United States there are approximately 1.5 million babies born to unmarried moms. It might seem overwhelming, but you can do this! One and a half million other moms do this each year, and you can do it too.
Next, even if you and the father of your baby decide not to get married, he can be actively involved in your baby’s life.
Fathers do have rights, but they need to take legal action to protect and exercise those rights. If the father expresses interest in co-parenting, you’d be better off working out a plan with him, rather than being forced into it by a court.
So how can you make this work?
How can you successfully co-parent with someone you barely dated?
- Take a parenting class together. Since both of you are brand-new to parenting, you can learn together. Taking a class together can also help make sure you’re both on the same page about important parenting decisions. It will give you opportunities to talk through parenting styles and options with the help and guidance of a professional.
- Communicate. Healthy, straightforward communication will be vital. Be up front about your expectations and your limitations. Honestly communicate with kindness, keeping in mind that your child is most important.
- Stay on the same page. Technology can help keep you on the same page with schedules and lists. There are several different apps that make it easy to share calendars, custody schedules, activities, appointments, feeding schedules, and medical information. You can minimize disruption to your child’s routine when you stay on the same page by sharing all the important information.
- Accept that you aren’t in control. Even if you communicate clearly and honestly express your expectations or wishes, you can’t control what happens at the other parent’s home. As long as your child is safe and is being cared for, you’ll just have to accept that you don’t get to call the shots at the other home. You and your child’s father may parent differently in some ways, and that’s probably OK. Even parents who are married have different strengths and weaknesses or just different styles of parenting. Usually, children benefit from these differences. Trust that your way isn’t the only way.
- Keep your child as the priority. As long as both of you keep your child as the top priority, your baby is going to be alright. It’s in your child’s best interest to have meaningful healthy relationships with both parents, so it’s helpful to keep this in mind as you interact with your child’s father. Speak of him respectfully in front of your child. Be kind to him. And don’t use your child as a pawn to manipulate him. You’re a parent now, and your child is the priority. Put aside your own negative feelings or wounds in order to do what’s best for your child.
You may have other questions or need some more practical resources or support. We’re here for you. Please call today to schedule a confidential visit. We’ll be happy to listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and point you in the direction of the resources you’ll need.
This might be really overwhelming, but you’re doing the hard things because you love your baby. That’s a great first step to becoming an awesome mom!
When considering abortion, it’s natural to wonder how the decision could affect your mental health. While every woman’s experience is different, being aware of possible emotional impacts and taking time to reflect on your circumstances can help you make an informed choice. At Collage, we provide free, confidential support so you don’t have to navigate these questions alone. Our staff is here to listen, answer your questions, and connect you with the resources you need as you process your options. Contact us to schedule your appointment today. What Research Suggests Research has shown that abortion can lead to a range of emotional responses. The American Psychological Association notes that some women experience grief, sadness, or even clinically significant issues like depression and anxiety afterward. Certain factors may make these outcomes more likely, such as: A history of mental health challenges Pressure from others to make a decision Lack of support or secrecy about the pregnancy Strong personal, cultural, or spiritual beliefs Wanting to continue the pregnancy but feeling unable to Recognizing how these factors may apply to your situation can help you prepare and seek support. You Have Other Options You are the one who will live with this decision, so it’s important not to rush. Confirming your pregnancy with a lab- quality test and ultrasound can provide clarity and help you understand your options, which include parenting and adoption. Speaking with a counselor or a healthcare professional can also give you space to process your feelings without judgment. We’re Here for You At Collage, we offer free pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds, and confidential consultations so you can explore your options with accurate information and compassionate support. Schedule your free appointment today. You deserve the time, space, and care to make a confident decision with your mental health top of mind. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do provide pre-abortion screenings.
Wondering if the abortion pill is right for you? Learn about eligibility, risks, and why an ultrasound is your first step at Collage.
If you’re in your second trimester (between 13 and 26 weeks of pregnancy), you might be asking, What now? Maybe you just found out you’re pregnant, or maybe this stage of pregnancy is bringing new questions or emotions. No matter where you are in your journey, Collage is here to offer support, information, and a safe place to talk through your options. Understanding Abortion Laws in Nebraska In Nebraska, abortion is not permitted after 12 weeks gestation, with limited exceptions. If you’re considering abortion and believe you may be near or past this point, it’s important to have an ultrasound to confirm how far along you are. If you’re unsure how far along you are, Collage offers no-cost lab-quality pregnancy testing and ultrasounds to provide the medical information you need to understand your next steps. Exploring Your Other Pregnancy Options If abortion is not an option or you’re unsure what’s next, you still have choices. We can talk with you more about each of them. Parenting Parenting might feel like something you’re not ready for or even impossible right now. But with the right support, it may be more achievable than you think. You don’t have to have all the answers today. At Collage, we can connect you with local resources, parenting classes, and support systems that can help you prepare, step by step. You won’t be alone. Adoption If parenting doesn’t seem like the right fit for your current season, adoption is another option that gives you the ability to make a thoughtful plan for your child. Today’s adoption process puts you in control of key decisions, including: Choosing the adoptive family Deciding how much (if any) communication you’d like to have Creating a plan that reflects your goals and values We offer adoption referrals and a confidential space to explore what this might look like for you—no pressure, just information and support. You’re Not Alone Navigating pregnancy in the second trimester can feel heavy, but you don’t have to walk through it by yourself. At Collage, you’ll find compassionate care, medical services, and honest answers to your questions. Schedule your no-cost appointment today. We’re here to listen and support through this process.
