Co-Parenting After An Unexpected Pregnancy
December 20, 2020
You’re facing an unexpected pregnancy, but your relationship with the father is over. Can you possibly parent this child together even though you aren’t together? Yes. Though it might be tricky, co-parenting after an unexpected pregnancy is possible.
First, if you’re single and unexpectedly pregnant, you aren’t alone. Each year in the United States there are approximately 1.5 million babies born to unmarried moms. It might seem overwhelming, but you can do this! One and a half million other moms do this each year, and you can do it too.
Next, even if you and the father of your baby decide not to get married, he can be actively involved in your baby’s life.
Fathers do have rights, but they need to take legal action to protect and exercise those rights. If the father expresses interest in co-parenting, you’d be better off working out a plan with him, rather than being forced into it by a court.
So how can you make this work?
How can you successfully co-parent with someone you barely dated?
- Take a parenting class together. Since both of you are brand-new to parenting, you can learn together. Taking a class together can also help make sure you’re both on the same page about important parenting decisions. It will give you opportunities to talk through parenting styles and options with the help and guidance of a professional.
- Communicate. Healthy, straightforward communication will be vital. Be up front about your expectations and your limitations. Honestly communicate with kindness, keeping in mind that your child is most important.
- Stay on the same page. Technology can help keep you on the same page with schedules and lists. There are several different apps that make it easy to share calendars, custody schedules, activities, appointments, feeding schedules, and medical information. You can minimize disruption to your child’s routine when you stay on the same page by sharing all the important information.
- Accept that you aren’t in control. Even if you communicate clearly and honestly express your expectations or wishes, you can’t control what happens at the other parent’s home. As long as your child is safe and is being cared for, you’ll just have to accept that you don’t get to call the shots at the other home. You and your child’s father may parent differently in some ways, and that’s probably OK. Even parents who are married have different strengths and weaknesses or just different styles of parenting. Usually, children benefit from these differences. Trust that your way isn’t the only way.
- Keep your child as the priority. As long as both of you keep your child as the top priority, your baby is going to be alright. It’s in your child’s best interest to have meaningful healthy relationships with both parents, so it’s helpful to keep this in mind as you interact with your child’s father. Speak of him respectfully in front of your child. Be kind to him. And don’t use your child as a pawn to manipulate him. You’re a parent now, and your child is the priority. Put aside your own negative feelings or wounds in order to do what’s best for your child.
You may have other questions or need some more practical resources or support. We’re here for you. Please call today to schedule a confidential visit. We’ll be happy to listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and point you in the direction of the resources you’ll need.
This might be really overwhelming, but you’re doing the hard things because you love your baby. That’s a great first step to becoming an awesome mom!
If you’ve recently learned you are pregnant unexpectedly, we understand how overwhelming this might feel right now. If you're considering abortion as an option, taking time to understand how the process works is important so you can make an informed decision. Collage is here to help provide you with confidential support and abortion information at no cost. We offer a safe space, free of judgment, where you can think calmly about your options, receive lab-quality pregnancy testing, and get a complimentary ultrasound so you can get the facts around your pregnancy and learn what options are available to you. Schedule your free appointment today. Medical Abortion Medical abortion, also known as the abortion pill, ends a pregnancy by using two drugs taken at different times. The first pill, mifepristone, works by blocking progesterone and causes the embryo’s death. The second drug, called misoprostol, is usually taken a day or two after and causes the uterus to contract, expelling the pregnancy tissue through cramping and bleeding. Common side effects can include bleeding and cramping, bleeding with blood clots, and a low-grade fever. Medical abortion is only approved through ten weeks of gestation by the FDA . Follow-up care is typically recommended after a medical abortion to make sure the process is complete. Surgical Abortion Surgical abortion terminates a pregnancy in a clinic or medical setting and involves removing pregnancy tissue from the uterus through a suction device or a tool called a curette. This can also be called dilation and evacuation or dilation and curettage . Common side effects of surgical abortions are bleeding and cramps. You may also have a late or early period as your uterus has to build a new lining after the procedure. What Are The Risks Of Abortion? Medical and surgical abortion both have possible risks that you should be aware of. Some women may also experience emotional responses afterward. Complications that can arise from abortion are: Infection. Scar tissue on the uterine wall, known as Asherman's syndrome . Heavy bleeding that may not stop. Diarrhea and digestive pain. An incomplete abortion. Confirm Your Pregnancy With An Ultrasound Before making a pregnancy decision, it is important to verify your pregnancy with an ultrasound. An ultrasound provides important medical details such as how far along you are, the location of the pregnancy, and whether a heartbeat is detected. These details are important since the abortion pill is not FDA-approved for over ten weeks, and it also rules out ectopic pregnancy, which requires urgent medical attention. As many as 26% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage, and you can still get a positive pregnancy test result for days or weeks after a miscarriage because it takes time for hCG to leave the body. An ultrasound will confirm whether or not you have miscarried. We provide no-cost pregnancy services at our center, including limited OB ultrasounds, so you can get informed about your pregnancy and options. Get Pregnancy Support at College If you're considering your next step after learning you are unexpectedly pregnant, we are here to give you a safe place to ask questions and learn more about your options. Collage provides confidential appointments and no-cost pregnancy services, including medical-grade pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, and STD testing . You don’t have to figure this out alone. We are here to listen. Schedule your free confidential appointment to learn more about your options. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
Facing an unexpected pregnancy brings up a lot of questions, and it makes complete sense that you want to understand every option before deciding anything. If you're considering the abortion pill, knowing what it actually involves, including its side effects, is an important part of making a decision based on the facts. You don't have to sort through this alone. Schedule a no-cost appointment with Collage today to get your questions answered. How the Abortion Pill Works The abortion pill uses two drugs taken in sequence. The first, mifepristone, blocks progesterone, a hormone that supports the growth and development of the pregnancy. Without it, the pregnancy detaches from the uterine lining. The second drug, misoprostol, is typically taken at home and causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy tissue. Heavy bleeding and cramping will be part of this process, and some women have described the pain as more severe than they anticipated. Side Effects to Know Beyond bleeding and cramping, the abortion pill can also cause these side effects : Upset stomach Vomiting Diarrhea Headache Fever Chills These side effects vary from woman to woman, which is one reason having a healthcare provider involved matters. Without medical oversight, it can be difficult to know what's within the range of normal and what requires immediate attention. Your personal health history also plays a role in how your body responds. Speaking with a medical professional before proceeding is an important step in protecting your well-being. Why an Ultrasound Matters First Before considering any pregnancy option, an ultrasound provides information that a pregnancy test simply cannot. It can confirm whether the pregnancy is progressing, rule out an ectopic pregnancy , and tell you how far along you are. The FDA approves the abortion pill only through 10 weeks gestation, making that last detail a critical piece of information for your safety. We're Here for You Whatever you're feeling right now, there’s no pressure here. At Collage, we genuinely care about you and want to make sure you have everything you need to make a sound decision. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing and limited obstetrical ultrasounds, and our team is ready to talk through all your options, parenting, adoption, and abortion, in a warm, supportive environment. Schedule your no-cost appointment today. We're so glad you reached out. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
Facing an unexpected pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions, and often, a sense of urgency to make a decision quickly. You may have seen options online to order abortion pills by mail and wondered if it’s a simple solution. Before making a decision, it’s important to understand how this option could affect your health and what steps you can take to make a fully informed decision. 1. Your Health Should Always Come First Mail-order abortion often skips important medical safeguards. In many cases, there is no in-person evaluation before receiving the drugs. That means key health factors, such as your medical history and potential risks, will not be fully considered. There can also be uncertainty about the source of the drugs, including how they were handled, stored, or dosed. In fact, the FDA does not recommend this option because the drugs’ quality, safety, and effectiveness cannot be guaranteed. Taking time to understand your health first is a smart and proactive way to protect yourself. 2. You Need Clear Answers About Your Pregnancy A pregnancy test alone doesn’t give you the full picture. Before considering abortion, it’s important to confirm details about your pregnancy through an ultrasound. An ultrasound can tell you: How far along are you? Whether the pregnancy is developing (or if you’ve miscarried ) Where the pregnancy is located These details matter more than you might think. Abortion pills are FDA-approved only through 10 weeks of gestation, and without accurate dating, it’s possible to miscalculate how far along you are. An ultrasound can also detect an ectopic pregnancy , which occurs outside the uterus and requires immediate medical attention. Abortion pills will not treat this condition. What’s more, if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you may require medical follow-up to prevent complications. Getting these details first helps ensure your safety. We offer limited OB ultrasounds following positive lab-quality pregnancy testing with us. 3. It’s Important to Understand the Process and Risks Mail-order abortion may sound straightforward, but it’s important to know what it may actually involve. The process includes significant cramping and bleeding as the body expels the pregnancy, with some women describing the pain as being unexpectedly severe . Other side effects can include: Nausea or vomiting Fever or chills Diarrhea Headaches There are also potential risks , such as heavy bleeding, infection, or an incomplete abortion that may require additional medical care. Without in-person support, it can be difficult to know what’s expected and when something may need medical attention. You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone When everything feels overwhelming, it can help to take a moment to evaluate your next steps and get the information you need. At Collage, we provide no-cost, confidential services so you can ask questions, gather accurate information, and explore your options at your own pace in a one-on-one setting. Schedule your appointment today. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
