Co-Parenting After An Unexpected Pregnancy
December 20, 2020
You’re facing an unexpected pregnancy, but your relationship with the father is over. Can you possibly parent this child together even though you aren’t together? Yes. Though it might be tricky, co-parenting after an unexpected pregnancy is possible.
First, if you’re single and unexpectedly pregnant, you aren’t alone. Each year in the United States there are approximately 1.5 million babies born to unmarried moms. It might seem overwhelming, but you can do this! One and a half million other moms do this each year, and you can do it too.
Next, even if you and the father of your baby decide not to get married, he can be actively involved in your baby’s life.
Fathers do have rights, but they need to take legal action to protect and exercise those rights. If the father expresses interest in co-parenting, you’d be better off working out a plan with him, rather than being forced into it by a court.
So how can you make this work?
How can you successfully co-parent with someone you barely dated?
- Take a parenting class together. Since both of you are brand-new to parenting, you can learn together. Taking a class together can also help make sure you’re both on the same page about important parenting decisions. It will give you opportunities to talk through parenting styles and options with the help and guidance of a professional.
- Communicate. Healthy, straightforward communication will be vital. Be up front about your expectations and your limitations. Honestly communicate with kindness, keeping in mind that your child is most important.
- Stay on the same page. Technology can help keep you on the same page with schedules and lists. There are several different apps that make it easy to share calendars, custody schedules, activities, appointments, feeding schedules, and medical information. You can minimize disruption to your child’s routine when you stay on the same page by sharing all the important information.
- Accept that you aren’t in control. Even if you communicate clearly and honestly express your expectations or wishes, you can’t control what happens at the other parent’s home. As long as your child is safe and is being cared for, you’ll just have to accept that you don’t get to call the shots at the other home. You and your child’s father may parent differently in some ways, and that’s probably OK. Even parents who are married have different strengths and weaknesses or just different styles of parenting. Usually, children benefit from these differences. Trust that your way isn’t the only way.
- Keep your child as the priority. As long as both of you keep your child as the top priority, your baby is going to be alright. It’s in your child’s best interest to have meaningful healthy relationships with both parents, so it’s helpful to keep this in mind as you interact with your child’s father. Speak of him respectfully in front of your child. Be kind to him. And don’t use your child as a pawn to manipulate him. You’re a parent now, and your child is the priority. Put aside your own negative feelings or wounds in order to do what’s best for your child.
You may have other questions or need some more practical resources or support. We’re here for you. Please call today to schedule a confidential visit. We’ll be happy to listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and point you in the direction of the resources you’ll need.
This might be really overwhelming, but you’re doing the hard things because you love your baby. That’s a great first step to becoming an awesome mom!
If you’re in your second trimester (between 13 and 26 weeks of pregnancy), you might be asking, What now? Maybe you just found out you’re pregnant, or maybe this stage of pregnancy is bringing new questions or emotions. No matter where you are in your journey, Collage is here to offer support, information, and a safe place to talk through your options. Understanding Abortion Laws in Nebraska In Nebraska, abortion is not permitted after 12 weeks gestation, with limited exceptions. If you’re considering abortion and believe you may be near or past this point, it’s important to have an ultrasound to confirm how far along you are. If you’re unsure how far along you are, Collage offers no-cost lab-quality pregnancy testing and ultrasounds to provide the medical information you need to understand your next steps. Exploring Your Other Pregnancy Options If abortion is not an option or you’re unsure what’s next, you still have choices. We can talk with you more about each of them. Parenting Parenting might feel like something you’re not ready for or even impossible right now. But with the right support, it may be more achievable than you think. You don’t have to have all the answers today. At Collage, we can connect you with local resources, parenting classes, and support systems that can help you prepare, step by step. You won’t be alone. Adoption If parenting doesn’t seem like the right fit for your current season, adoption is another option that gives you the ability to make a thoughtful plan for your child. Today’s adoption process puts you in control of key decisions, including: Choosing the adoptive family Deciding how much (if any) communication you’d like to have Creating a plan that reflects your goals and values We offer adoption referrals and a confidential space to explore what this might look like for you—no pressure, just information and support. You’re Not Alone Navigating pregnancy in the second trimester can feel heavy, but you don’t have to walk through it by yourself. At Collage, you’ll find compassionate care, medical services, and honest answers to your questions. Schedule your no-cost appointment today. We’re here to listen and support through this process.
An unexpected pregnancy can leave you with more questions than answers. Especially when friends are urging you to choose abortion, you may be more confused than ever. While their advice might come from care or fear, it’s essential to remember this is your pregnancy, future, and choice. At Collage, we’re here to help you navigate this pressure and find a path that feels right for you so that you can feel informed and confident about your decision. Reach out to us today for no-cost support. Listen to Your Instincts Your friends might be an important part of your life, but your instincts matter most. If abortion doesn’t feel right, take a moment to ask: What’s holding me back? Maybe you’re picturing parenting your child or are curious about adoption. It’s also important to keep in mind that abortion is a serious procedure that your friends may not fully grasp the details of. Physical and emotional risks are involved, making it a more complex decision. Your hesitation is a sign to slow down and explore, not to rush into a choice you’re not ready for. Talk It Out If your friends keep pressing, try a gentle conversation. Let them know you understand they’re worried, you’re not sure about abortion yet. Ask what’s driving their advice. Maybe they’re scared about your finances or future. Maybe they’re simply telling you what they’d do in your situation, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Understanding their side can ease tension without giving in. If they won’t respect your space, set boundaries and let them know you need time to think. You don’t owe them an immediate answer. Find Your Support Surround yourself with people who’ll lift you up, not pull you down. Write down your thoughts or talk to someone neutral. You can find a counselor or even online spaces where you can share your heart with those who won’t push one option over another. Even a trusted family member, a mentor, or a place like Collage can offer perspective without strings. You deserve to make this decision with clear facts and a steady heart, not under pressure. Help is Available If your friends are pushing abortion but you’re not ready, Collage is here with no-cost lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited obstetric ultrasounds, and pregnancy options education to help you decide what’s next. Our trained team offers confidential support to explore parenting, adoption, or abortion without pressure. Contact us for a no-cost appointment today. You deserve to choose your own path.
An unexpected pregnancy can flip your world upside down, and the urge to keep it under wraps might hit hard. Maybe you’re thinking abortion could erase the situation quietly.
