Domestic Violence – 4 Signs You Should Be Looking For

Domestic violence has been in the news quite a bit this past year. Perhaps the biggest story was NFL star Ray Rice and his then fiancé, and now wife, Janay. The story of his abuse was all over social media and the news. It also prompted the following video of NFL players created by NoMore.org.

But even with all the awareness, it still happens, and it can happen to anyone. If you find yourself experiencing physical or emotional abuse, or even threats in a relationship, you should seek immediate help. Recognizing the signs of abuse and acknowledging it is happening are the first steps to putting an end to it.

When we think of domestic abuse, we often think men are the ones committing the violence. That’s not always the case. This year we also saw Hope Solo, the female American soccer gold medalist, face charges for domestic violence.

Often relationships that end in abuse don’t begin that way. The abuser may come off as a nice, normal, caring person. The victim doesn’t know what is in store until the abuse begins and the abusers true nature is revealed. Looking back, they can often see some early warning signs that they overlooked. These signs aren’t a guarantee that the relationship is headed toward abuse, but together they should raise some red flags for you.

4 Domestic Violence Signs You Should Be Looking For

There is a Lack of Respect

During the initial phase of your relationship, they will be very respectful, after all they are trying to get you to like them. They may treat other people poorly though. If you see them being disrespectful or angry towards people in service roles, people they may feel they are above, it should raise some concerns. Also, listen to how they talk about others, especially those close to you. They may try to distance you from the people you love through their words, isolating you from people who might see things headed in a bad direction. Another indication is how they talk about past relationships. Do they accept responsibility for a failed relationship? Do they call their former partners disrespectful names? If they demean and disrespect others, they will eventually do the same to you. If you notice these things, it may be time to rethink your relationship.

They Say It’s Always Your Fault

When things go wrong, do you get all the blame? Abusers usually want to feel and be seen as superior to everyone else. They often have unrealistic expectations that can never be met and when those expectations are unfulfilled they blame others. If every time something goes wrong it is your fault, and they never accept any of the blame, you need to ask yourself why.

There Is A Need For Speed

As the relationship begins to grow, an abuser may want to move it along more quickly than you are comfortable with. They need to know you are committed before they can gain control. If you have thoughts that it is moving too fast, don’t ignore them; they may be a warning sign. An abuser will want to take the fast track to an exclusive relationship and often will use sex as a way to get there more quickly. If you’re feeling pressure to do something you’re not ready for, or to enter into an exclusive relationship, find a trusted friend, a mentor or even your parent to talk to.

Your Partner Is Controlling

While this can show up early in a relationship, usually as selfishness and a desire to make all the decisions, more often it happens after a commitment to the relationship has been made. They may try to influence or control your other relationships, isolating your further from friends and family. The abuser may be very possessive. It often turns into them checking up on you, having to know where you are and who you are with at all times, As the need for control grows, often the abuse begins. If you start to see some of these signs, again, be careful and take a long hard look at the relationship.

Find Some Guidance and Help

If you notice any of these signs, we encourage you to examine the relationship. We also realize that in most cases of abuse, the victim isn’t able to see what is happening clearly. Because of that we also want to encourage you to find someone to talk to, either someone close to you that you trust or a professional, if you notice these signs. And because the abuser is usually really good at hiding who they really are, those close to you may not see the signs. Even if others don’t see it you should always trust your gut instinct if you feel that something is wrong. The longer you stay, the more danger you face and the more difficult it may be to get out of the relationship.

If you do need someone to talk with, our staff is always available and we can provide referrals to other organizations and counselors who can help you with the resources and guidance you need.

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My Partner is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, But I’m Not Sure

February 10, 2026

An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever. Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

January 23, 2026

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

How to Handle Holiday Gatherings When You Haven’t Shared Your Pregnancy News Yet

December 17, 2025

Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try: Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .