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Guy’s Perspective: Unplanned

CollageCenter • Jun 23, 2011

Your partner just texted you that her period is 2 weeks late. A million thoughts may be running through your head…


I never thought this would happen to me, now what?

So, what’s your next step? It’s really important that your partner confirms her pregnancy. Collage can provide a free and confidential pregnancy test and follow up then with a limited obstetrical ultrasound if the test is positive. The ultrasound confirms the viability of the pregnancy (whether it’s likely to carry to term or end in miscarriage) and reveals exactly how far along she is. One of our medical personnel performs the ultrasounds right here at our Center.


Do I have any say in the end result of the pregnancy?

As the father of this child, you can still have a say in the outcome of the pregnancy despite the fact that a woman can choose to have an abortion without the permission of the baby’s father. Your support is crucial as she decides what the outcome of her pregnancy will be.


How do I support her?

Talk about your options with each other, with your parents, and with others in your life. Keeping the pregnancy a secret may create unneeded stress in what can already be a stressful time. Remember the importance of listening to her talk about how she is feeling. And don’t be afraid to speak up either. So many women have told us that they were just waiting for their partner to say, “I don’t know what will happen to us in the future, but I do know we can provide a future for our child.” Even if it gets to the point that the abortion is scheduled and she is sitting in the waiting room at the clinic, in her mind, she is most likely screaming, “Please stop me from doing this!”


Where can we go to get the facts?

Collage is a safe and confidential place that can provide you and your partner the opportunity to ask the questions you both may have. You have options and you are the only people who can make the final decision. Our trained staff can help you look at all of your options and answer your questions about abortion, adoption, and parenting. She may be scared to call us for a pregnancy test appointment, so tell her you’ll call us. You can even offer to bring her in.


She doesn’t seem like she wants me involved…I might as well just bail.

You can try to run away from this situation but the truth is that it’s not going to go away. You have an opportunity to step up and take responsibility. This is your child just as much as it is hers, so it’s important to figure out together what the best outcome of the pregnancy is for all three of you.


What if we disagree?

Be honest with each other and take the time to look at all of your options together. Most importantly don’t pressure her to do something she doesn’t want to do. Take your time making this decision. You have a right to look back on this in the future and know you made the best decision.

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