Hanging Out and Hooking Up – Is It Getting Old?

We live in a hook up culture. Like it or not, we do. You’ve likely read the news stories and blog posts discussing hooking up. Perhaps you’re experiencing it first hand. Dating has changed; some would say it’s gone altogether.

Gone are the days of waiting for someone to ask you out on a “date,” the back and forth, the wondering,

“Will he call?”
“Will she say yes?”
“Where should I take her?”
“What will we talk about?”

Technology and cultural changes have made it possible to bypass almost all the steps and go straight to sex. It’s easy now, maybe a little too easy. Less time involved in the preparation, less commitment, less risk of rejection. We understand that it appears fun and exciting. No fuss on where to go out, no vulnerability, no strings attached. But let’s dig deeper.

We have some questions we’d like to discuss openly and honestly because we care about you and your emotional and physical health.

What’s really going on with hooking up?

We’ve created a new status of “relationship” that aren’t relationships at all. The “un-date” or “non-date,” where he sends a text asking to “hang-out sometime,” is all too common. It’s an easy, low-risk way for a guy (or girl) to find an option for sex. An option, is that all you want to be? By participating, you’ve reinforced the culture and set expectations for yourself and for the guys in your life.

As we talk to women we find they often take part in hooking up because they think it is the only way to meet guys. And though they hook up often, they are hoping that it will lead to a boyfriend and the possibility of a long-term relationship. Can it happen? Sure, anything is possible. But does it? Rarely.

Often hook-ups are described as low-risk. Some think they help avoid the confusion and potential emotional pain that comes with real relationships. But have you considered that they are creating more problems for you?

What’s the downside of hooking up?

For one, you don’t get to experience intimacy. Deep down we all want to know and be known. And you miss out on getting to know someone, their favorite song, band, color, ice cream flavor, their hopes and fears. And you miss out on having someone know you, the real you, and loving you for it. All these things take time and effort and just aren’t possible if all you’re doing is hooking up. Why? Because when everything is physical, the conversations that foster relationships don’t usually happen. Expectations aren’t discussed and thus aren’t met. And the loneliness that often leads to hooking up in the first place grows deeper.

And then there is the health risk. You’ve seen the statistics that show 1-4 college students have a STI. We know you don’t think it can happen to you, but the odds say otherwise. That’s one of the reasons we’re adding STI testing to our services soon.

What’s a girl to do?

First, if you’re involved in hooking up, you need to ask yourself if you are enjoying it? Is this what you really want, or do you want more? We think you deserve more, but it has to be something you decide for yourself.

If you’ve decided you’re done playing the game, then it’s time for some changes and new boundaries. Quit answering texts about “getting together.” If he wants to spend time with you let him know he needs to make you a priority. Make him ask you out on an actual date, in person, with real words and a plan that he has for a fun evening out. No more texts like, “wanna hang out sometime this weekend – winky-face?” You need to be honest, set clear expectations and when you are together have real conversations. Spend some time getting to know him and let him get to know you. Go on an actual date.

Sometimes setting clear expectations lets the guy off the hook. We often hear girls say things like, “Well, he’s a guy, of course he wants this!” But does he? The culture has made it hard for guys to say no. What if he wants something more? He may want a meaningful relationship, but cultural expectations may have convinced him it’s impossible or not worth it. You’ll never know what possibilities are there for a relationship if you continue to play the hook up game.

What about the guys?

A final word to the guys reading this. Where are you in this mix? Sure, the hook up culture makes it easy to find sex. Is that all you want? Doesn’t it seem just a little selfish? Are you even considering her and her feelings? Her future? She’s probably going to be someone else’s wife someday. What if you treated her like you would want some other guy to treat your future wife? Would that change how you view hooking up? Maybe you’re ready for a change too. Here’s what you can do.

Yes, dating is different, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from some of the “old ways.” If you’re looking for more from a relationship, show her she’s a priority. When you want to spend some time with her, ask her out. And by ask her out we mean for a specific day, at a specific time, to go to a specific place. Open doors for her. Talk to her. Listen to her. Get to know her. Find out what makes her tick, what makes her happy, and what breaks her heart. And then share those things about you with her. This is how relationships grow.

We said we wanted to discuss this with you and we mean it. We’d love to hear from you in the comments. If you’re single, you deal with the hook up culture daily. Share your thoughts or experiences and lets talk.

< Older Post

Newer Post >

How Does Abortion End My Pregnancy?

May 29, 2026

If you’ve recently learned you are pregnant unexpectedly, we understand how overwhelming this might feel right now. If you're considering abortion as an option, taking time to understand how the process works is important so you can make an informed decision. Collage is here to help provide you with confidential support and abortion information at no cost. We offer a safe space, free of judgment, where you can think calmly about your options, receive lab-quality pregnancy testing, and get a complimentary ultrasound so you can get the facts around your pregnancy and learn what options are available to you. Schedule your free appointment today. Medical Abortion Medical abortion, also known as the abortion pill, ends a pregnancy by using two drugs taken at different times. The first pill, mifepristone, works by blocking progesterone and causes the embryo’s death. The second drug, called misoprostol, is usually taken a day or two after and causes the uterus to contract, expelling the pregnancy tissue through cramping and bleeding. Common side effects can include bleeding and cramping, bleeding with blood clots, and a low-grade fever. Medical abortion is only approved through ten weeks of gestation by the FDA . Follow-up care is typically recommended after a medical abortion to make sure the process is complete. Surgical Abortion Surgical abortion terminates a pregnancy in a clinic or medical setting and involves removing pregnancy tissue from the uterus through a suction device or a tool called a curette. This can also be called dilation and evacuation or dilation and curettage . Common side effects of surgical abortions are bleeding and cramps. You may also have a late or early period as your uterus has to build a new lining after the procedure. What Are The Risks Of Abortion? Medical and surgical abortion both have possible risks that you should be aware of. Some women may also experience emotional responses afterward. Complications that can arise from abortion are: Infection. Scar tissue on the uterine wall, known as Asherman's syndrome . Heavy bleeding that may not stop. Diarrhea and digestive pain. An incomplete abortion. Confirm Your Pregnancy With An Ultrasound Before making a pregnancy decision, it is important to verify your pregnancy with an ultrasound. An ultrasound provides important medical details such as how far along you are, the location of the pregnancy, and whether a heartbeat is detected. These details are important since the abortion pill is not FDA-approved for over ten weeks, and it also rules out ectopic pregnancy, which requires urgent medical attention. As many as 26% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage, and you can still get a positive pregnancy test result for days or weeks after a miscarriage because it takes time for hCG to leave the body. An ultrasound will confirm whether or not you have miscarried. We provide no-cost pregnancy services at our center, including limited OB ultrasounds, so you can get informed about your pregnancy and options. Get Pregnancy Support at College If you're considering your next step after learning you are unexpectedly pregnant, we are here to give you a safe place to ask questions and learn more about your options. Collage provides confidential appointments and no-cost pregnancy services, including medical-grade pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, and STD testing . You don’t have to figure this out alone. We are here to listen. Schedule your free confidential appointment to learn more about your options. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

What Are the Side Effects of the Abortion Pill?

April 21, 2026

Facing an unexpected pregnancy brings up a lot of questions, and it makes complete sense that you want to understand every option before deciding anything. If you're considering the abortion pill, knowing what it actually involves, including its side effects, is an important part of making a decision based on the facts. You don't have to sort through this alone. Schedule a no-cost appointment with Collage today to get your questions answered. How the Abortion Pill Works The abortion pill uses two drugs taken in sequence. The first, mifepristone, blocks progesterone, a hormone that supports the growth and development of the pregnancy. Without it, the pregnancy detaches from the uterine lining. The second drug, misoprostol, is typically taken at home and causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy tissue. Heavy bleeding and cramping will be part of this process, and some women have described the pain as more severe than they anticipated. Side Effects to Know Beyond bleeding and cramping, the abortion pill can also cause these side effects : Upset stomach Vomiting Diarrhea Headache Fever Chills These side effects vary from woman to woman, which is one reason having a healthcare provider involved matters. Without medical oversight, it can be difficult to know what's within the range of normal and what requires immediate attention. Your personal health history also plays a role in how your body responds. Speaking with a medical professional before proceeding is an important step in protecting your well-being. Why an Ultrasound Matters First Before considering any pregnancy option, an ultrasound provides information that a pregnancy test simply cannot. It can confirm whether the pregnancy is progressing, rule out an ectopic pregnancy , and tell you how far along you are. The FDA approves the abortion pill only through 10 weeks gestation, making that last detail a critical piece of information for your safety. We're Here for You Whatever you're feeling right now, there’s no pressure here. At Collage, we genuinely care about you and want to make sure you have everything you need to make a sound decision. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing and limited obstetrical ultrasounds, and our team is ready to talk through all your options, parenting, adoption, and abortion, in a warm, supportive environment. Schedule your no-cost appointment today. We're so glad you reached out. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.

3 Things to Know if You Are Considering Mail-Order Abortion

March 26, 2026

Facing an unexpected pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions, and often, a sense of urgency to make a decision quickly. You may have seen options online to order abortion pills by mail and wondered if it’s a simple solution. Before making a decision, it’s important to understand how this option could affect your health and what steps you can take to make a fully informed decision. 1. Your Health Should Always Come First Mail-order abortion often skips important medical safeguards. In many cases, there is no in-person evaluation before receiving the drugs. That means key health factors, such as your medical history and potential risks, will not be fully considered. There can also be uncertainty about the source of the drugs, including how they were handled, stored, or dosed. In fact, the FDA does not recommend this option because the drugs’ quality, safety, and effectiveness cannot be guaranteed. Taking time to understand your health first is a smart and proactive way to protect yourself. 2. You Need Clear Answers About Your Pregnancy A pregnancy test alone doesn’t give you the full picture. Before considering abortion, it’s important to confirm details about your pregnancy through an ultrasound. An ultrasound can tell you: How far along are you? Whether the pregnancy is developing (or if you’ve miscarried ) Where the pregnancy is located These details matter more than you might think. Abortion pills are FDA-approved only through 10 weeks of gestation, and without accurate dating, it’s possible to miscalculate how far along you are. An ultrasound can also detect an ectopic pregnancy , which occurs outside the uterus and requires immediate medical attention. Abortion pills will not treat this condition. What’s more, if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you may require medical follow-up to prevent complications. Getting these details first helps ensure your safety. We offer limited OB ultrasounds following positive lab-quality pregnancy testing with us. 3. It’s Important to Understand the Process and Risks Mail-order abortion may sound straightforward, but it’s important to know what it may actually involve. The process includes significant cramping and bleeding as the body expels the pregnancy, with some women describing the pain as being unexpectedly severe . Other side effects can include: Nausea or vomiting Fever or chills Diarrhea Headaches There are also potential risks , such as heavy bleeding, infection, or an incomplete abortion that may require additional medical care. Without in-person support, it can be difficult to know what’s expected and when something may need medical attention. You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone When everything feels overwhelming, it can help to take a moment to evaluate your next steps and get the information you need. At Collage, we provide no-cost, confidential services so you can ask questions, gather accurate information, and explore your options at your own pace in a one-on-one setting. Schedule your appointment today. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.