Hanging Out and Hooking Up – Is It Getting Old?

We live in a hook up culture. Like it or not, we do. You’ve likely read the news stories and blog posts discussing hooking up. Perhaps you’re experiencing it first hand. Dating has changed; some would say it’s gone altogether.

Gone are the days of waiting for someone to ask you out on a “date,” the back and forth, the wondering,

“Will he call?”
“Will she say yes?”
“Where should I take her?”
“What will we talk about?”

Technology and cultural changes have made it possible to bypass almost all the steps and go straight to sex. It’s easy now, maybe a little too easy. Less time involved in the preparation, less commitment, less risk of rejection. We understand that it appears fun and exciting. No fuss on where to go out, no vulnerability, no strings attached. But let’s dig deeper.

We have some questions we’d like to discuss openly and honestly because we care about you and your emotional and physical health.

What’s really going on with hooking up?

We’ve created a new status of “relationship” that aren’t relationships at all. The “un-date” or “non-date,” where he sends a text asking to “hang-out sometime,” is all too common. It’s an easy, low-risk way for a guy (or girl) to find an option for sex. An option, is that all you want to be? By participating, you’ve reinforced the culture and set expectations for yourself and for the guys in your life.

As we talk to women we find they often take part in hooking up because they think it is the only way to meet guys. And though they hook up often, they are hoping that it will lead to a boyfriend and the possibility of a long-term relationship. Can it happen? Sure, anything is possible. But does it? Rarely.

Often hook-ups are described as low-risk. Some think they help avoid the confusion and potential emotional pain that comes with real relationships. But have you considered that they are creating more problems for you?

What’s the downside of hooking up?

For one, you don’t get to experience intimacy. Deep down we all want to know and be known. And you miss out on getting to know someone, their favorite song, band, color, ice cream flavor, their hopes and fears. And you miss out on having someone know you, the real you, and loving you for it. All these things take time and effort and just aren’t possible if all you’re doing is hooking up. Why? Because when everything is physical, the conversations that foster relationships don’t usually happen. Expectations aren’t discussed and thus aren’t met. And the loneliness that often leads to hooking up in the first place grows deeper.

And then there is the health risk. You’ve seen the statistics that show 1-4 college students have a STI. We know you don’t think it can happen to you, but the odds say otherwise. That’s one of the reasons we’re adding STI testing to our services soon.

What’s a girl to do?

First, if you’re involved in hooking up, you need to ask yourself if you are enjoying it? Is this what you really want, or do you want more? We think you deserve more, but it has to be something you decide for yourself.

If you’ve decided you’re done playing the game, then it’s time for some changes and new boundaries. Quit answering texts about “getting together.” If he wants to spend time with you let him know he needs to make you a priority. Make him ask you out on an actual date, in person, with real words and a plan that he has for a fun evening out. No more texts like, “wanna hang out sometime this weekend – winky-face?” You need to be honest, set clear expectations and when you are together have real conversations. Spend some time getting to know him and let him get to know you. Go on an actual date.

Sometimes setting clear expectations lets the guy off the hook. We often hear girls say things like, “Well, he’s a guy, of course he wants this!” But does he? The culture has made it hard for guys to say no. What if he wants something more? He may want a meaningful relationship, but cultural expectations may have convinced him it’s impossible or not worth it. You’ll never know what possibilities are there for a relationship if you continue to play the hook up game.

What about the guys?

A final word to the guys reading this. Where are you in this mix? Sure, the hook up culture makes it easy to find sex. Is that all you want? Doesn’t it seem just a little selfish? Are you even considering her and her feelings? Her future? She’s probably going to be someone else’s wife someday. What if you treated her like you would want some other guy to treat your future wife? Would that change how you view hooking up? Maybe you’re ready for a change too. Here’s what you can do.

Yes, dating is different, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from some of the “old ways.” If you’re looking for more from a relationship, show her she’s a priority. When you want to spend some time with her, ask her out. And by ask her out we mean for a specific day, at a specific time, to go to a specific place. Open doors for her. Talk to her. Listen to her. Get to know her. Find out what makes her tick, what makes her happy, and what breaks her heart. And then share those things about you with her. This is how relationships grow.

We said we wanted to discuss this with you and we mean it. We’d love to hear from you in the comments. If you’re single, you deal with the hook up culture daily. Share your thoughts or experiences and lets talk.

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My Partner is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, But I’m Not Sure

February 10, 2026

An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever. Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

January 23, 2026

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

How to Handle Holiday Gatherings When You Haven’t Shared Your Pregnancy News Yet

December 17, 2025

Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try: Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .