I Don’t Want To Lose Him

February 15, 2020
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Dear Collage,
My boyfriend and I have been dating a while now. He’s really sweet and in a lot of ways, he treats me like a queen. I know he loves me. And I really do love him. He wants to have sex, but I don’t feel ready. I think sex is a big deal, and I think I might want to wait until I’m married. He says he understands that I’m not ready, but he also says that he’s proven he loves me by treating me like a queen – buying me stuff and watching movies I want to watch or hanging out with my friends when I want us to. He says this is the only thing he’s asking of me and if I really loved him, I’d want him to be happy. I know he’s getting frustrated. He has needs and I’m not meeting those needs. I’m afraid that if I don’t have sex with him soon, he’s going to break up with me and find someone who will. I mean, I love him and I want a future with him. If I’m going to have sex with him eventually, maybe I should go ahead and have sex with him now so he won’t leave me. What should I do?


We receive a lot of messages that sound like this. So if you’re in this situation, you definitely aren’t alone. That’s important for you to know — you aren’t the only one.


If this is your situation, we want to encourage you and help you as you make a decision about what’s best for you.


First, it’s wonderful if you and your boyfriend are having conversations about sex. Being able to honestly communicate about physical intimacy is very important in a relationship. It sounds like you’re not shying away from talking about the tough stuff, so that’s really something to be proud of!


Next, it’s also really great that you’re pausing to think about what you want and how sex impacts a relationship and your future. It sounds like you’re considering your values and wanting to make choices that are true to your own values. That’s wonderful!


If you feel like you aren’t ready for sex or if any part of you really wants to wait until you’re married, then you aren’t ready. And that’s OK! Even if you’ve been dating a really long time, it’s OK to feel like you aren’t ready or to feel like you want to wait. You’re right; sex is a big deal, and it’s wise to wait until you’re really ready or until you’re fully committed to each other in marriage. If that’s how you feel, you have every right to feel that way. And you deserve to have those values and those boundaries respected.


If you can say that your boyfriend treats you like a queen, but what does that mean? If he isn’t respecting your boundaries and your values, then he isn’t treating you like a queen. If he’s buying you gifts, watching movies you want to watch, and hanging with your friends so that he can use that as leverage to pressure you into having sex, then he isn’t treating you like a queen. He’s manipulating you. And that isn’t how real love works.


Your boyfriend may say he has needs and that he wants you to meet those needs. But you have needs as well – the need to be respected and honored and truly loved. And if he’s pressuring you to have sex or making threats that he’ll find another girl who will have sex with him, then he isn’t meeting your needs.

It’s understandable that you don’t want to lose this boyfriend – none of us likes to feel rejected. And it could feel that way. But if he’s pressuring you or threatening to leave you if you don’t have sex with him, he isn’t really rejecting you; he’s just selfishly wanting what he wants. And you deserve a better relationship than that. Maybe you could see this as you rejecting a relationship that isn’t respectful and healthy. You are so valuable, and your happiness is important. Are you going to be really happy if you go against your own values or give in to pressure to do something you’re not ready for?


When you’re really ready – when the time is right – you won’t feel pressured and you won’t be motivated by fear of losing someone. You’ll be motivated by true love – patient and gentle and selfless. And the right person won’t threaten to leave you if he doesn’t get his way. He won’t give you things and then hold it over your head to get what he wants. He won’t make you feel like his kindnesses to you are in exchange for sex.



Hold out for the right time and the right person. You’re worth it!

April 21, 2026
Facing an unexpected pregnancy brings up a lot of questions, and it makes complete sense that you want to understand every option before deciding anything. If you're considering the abortion pill, knowing what it actually involves, including its side effects, is an important part of making a decision based on the facts.  You don't have to sort through this alone. Schedule a no-cost appointment with Collage today to get your questions answered. How the Abortion Pill Works The abortion pill uses two drugs taken in sequence. The first, mifepristone, blocks progesterone, a hormone that supports the growth and development of the pregnancy. Without it, the pregnancy detaches from the uterine lining. The second drug, misoprostol, is typically taken at home and causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy tissue. Heavy bleeding and cramping will be part of this process, and some women have described the pain as more severe than they anticipated. Side Effects to Know Beyond bleeding and cramping, the abortion pill can also cause these side effects : Upset stomach Vomiting Diarrhea Headache Fever Chills These side effects vary from woman to woman, which is one reason having a healthcare provider involved matters. Without medical oversight, it can be difficult to know what's within the range of normal and what requires immediate attention. Your personal health history also plays a role in how your body responds. Speaking with a medical professional before proceeding is an important step in protecting your well-being. Why an Ultrasound Matters First Before considering any pregnancy option, an ultrasound provides information that a pregnancy test simply cannot. It can confirm whether the pregnancy is progressing, rule out an ectopic pregnancy , and tell you how far along you are. The FDA approves the abortion pill only through 10 weeks gestation, making that last detail a critical piece of information for your safety. We're Here for You Whatever you're feeling right now, there’s no pressure here. At Collage, we genuinely care about you and want to make sure you have everything you need to make a sound decision. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing and limited obstetrical ultrasounds, and our team is ready to talk through all your options, parenting, adoption, and abortion, in a warm, supportive environment. Schedule your no-cost appointment today. We're so glad you reached out. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
March 26, 2026
Facing an unexpected pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions, and often, a sense of urgency to make a decision quickly. You may have seen options online to order abortion pills by mail and wondered if it’s a simple solution. Before making a decision, it’s important to understand how this option could affect your health and what steps you can take to make a fully informed decision. 1. Your Health Should Always Come First Mail-order abortion often skips important medical safeguards. In many cases, there is no in-person evaluation before receiving the drugs. That means key health factors, such as your medical history and potential risks, will not be fully considered. There can also be uncertainty about the source of the drugs, including how they were handled, stored, or dosed. In fact, the FDA does not recommend this option because the drugs’ quality, safety, and effectiveness cannot be guaranteed. Taking time to understand your health first is a smart and proactive way to protect yourself. 2. You Need Clear Answers About Your Pregnancy A pregnancy test alone doesn’t give you the full picture. Before considering abortion, it’s important to confirm details about your pregnancy through an ultrasound. An ultrasound can tell you: How far along are you? Whether the pregnancy is developing (or if you’ve miscarried ) Where the pregnancy is located These details matter more than you might think. Abortion pills are FDA-approved only through 10 weeks of gestation, and without accurate dating, it’s possible to miscalculate how far along you are. An ultrasound can also detect an ectopic pregnancy , which occurs outside the uterus and requires immediate medical attention. Abortion pills will not treat this condition. What’s more, if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you may require medical follow-up to prevent complications. Getting these details first helps ensure your safety. We offer limited OB ultrasounds following positive lab-quality pregnancy testing with us. 3. It’s Important to Understand the Process and Risks Mail-order abortion may sound straightforward, but it’s important to know what it may actually involve. The process includes significant cramping and bleeding as the body expels the pregnancy, with some women describing the pain as being unexpectedly severe . Other side effects can include: Nausea or vomiting Fever or chills Diarrhea Headaches There are also potential risks , such as heavy bleeding, infection, or an incomplete abortion that may require additional medical care. Without in-person support, it can be difficult to know what’s expected and when something may need medical attention. You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone When everything feels overwhelming, it can help to take a moment to evaluate your next steps and get the information you need. At Collage, we provide no-cost, confidential services so you can ask questions, gather accurate information, and explore your options at your own pace in a one-on-one setting. Schedule your appointment today. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
February 10, 2026
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