I’m Not Ready For Sex, But He Is

Dear Collage,

I’m not ready. Yet. We’ve been dating for several months, longer than most of our friends and some of them are, but I don’t think I’m ready. It’s not that I don’t love him, I’m just not ready for sex and he is. How do I handle this? Thanks.

- Not Ready

Dear Not Ready,

Your situation is one many young women struggle with. They are trying to figure out how they feel about their guy, what their relationship is, and where it might go. For most, it’s not just about whether or not to have sex; it’s about who they are and who they want to be. It’s about not only the present, but also the future. As they sit and talk about their questions and what they are thinking and feeling, it’s amazing how they find the answers as they talk it out.

So, let’s talk. We’re not holding back on this because it’s an important topic and we think you alone should make this decision for you. Here are a few questions for you to think about.

What’s the status of your relationship in general?

You mentioned that you’ve been dating for several months, but how long you’ve been in a relationship isn’t a gage on how serious the relationship is. There are several things to factor in as you evaluate your relationship. Things like the level of trust, how well you communicate, and a respect for each other are better measurements of the status of a relationship that time passed. As for sex, well that doesn’t necessary make for a deeper, more intimate relationship either. Sure, sexual intimacy, in the right context, can strengthen a relationship. But if you engage in sex too early it can also do considerable harm to your relationship. Physical intimacy can replace emotional intimacy, stunting the growth of the relationship and causing a great deal of pain and frustration as a result of unmet expectations.

Have you clearly communicated your boundaries?

Does he know how you feel and where your comfort zone ends? Sometimes you just have to be blunt and let him know what you are comfortable with, just tell him you’re not ready for sex. It’s always best to have this conversation and set your boundaries before you are in a situation where they are being pushed. Let him know where you stand and what will happen if he pushes you. What is his reaction? Sure he might say all the right things, but what does he do? Is he respectful, staying clear of those boundaries, or does he keep pushing to see how close he can get, or if he can get past them? You’ll be amazed how much more respect you’ll have for your guy when he knows your limits and doesn’t push the boundaries.

Is he manipulating you to guilt you into sex?

“I love you so much, and if you love me as much as I love you, you’d want to have sex.” If he says anything that remotely resembles that sentence it’s probably time to start rethinking this relationship. If he loved you as much as he says he does, he would respect the boundaries you have set. Clearly that’s not the case and he just demonstrated he cares way more about himself than you. You deserve someone who puts you first.

Are you afraid he will leave or cheat?

If the thought that he might break up with you if you don’t have sex has crossed your mind, you’re not alone. Many women worry that if they don’t give in and have sex the guy will leave, or worse cheat on her. If this is something that you’re worried about, than you may want to revisit our first question about the status of the relationship. This is a sign of a lack of trust and respect for your boundaries

Do you need to end the relationship?

If he keeps pushing after you’ve been clear you’re not ready for sex it may be time to end things. You may realize he doesn’t respect you and is more concerned with his physical needs than your emotional needs and decide to break up. He may realize that he’s not going to get what he wants and he may end it. After several months together, no matter how it ends it will hurt. But hopefully you can take some comfort in knowing that ending it now is a lot less painful than being in a long term relationship with someone who doesn’t respect and honor you, and who constantly pushes you to do things you’re not ready for.

Do you need someone to talk this through with?

If you’re in this situation and want to talk with someone, we’d love to invite you to come to Collage and meet with one of our staff. They will help you work through these and any other questions you may have. In the end, our goal is to help you make the best decision for you, not what someone else wants for you. Because in the end, the decision whether or not to have sex should always be yours.

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Will My Insurance Pay for My Girlfriend's Abortion Pill?

August 11, 2026

If your girlfriend is facing an unexpected pregnancy and considering the abortion pill, you're probably wondering about costs and whether insurance will cover it. Before considering the abortion pill, it’s vital that your girlfriend receives an ultrasound. We offer these at no cost with no insurance necessary. She can schedule a free, confidential appointment online at Collage. Can Your Insurance Cover Her? Health insurance covers the policyholder and enrolled dependents. A girlfriend typically isn't a covered dependent on your plan, which means your insurance generally won't pay for her medical care. The exception is if she's been added to your plan as a domestic partner and your employer allows that. Additionally, you may be able to extend insurance coverage to her after marriage if your policy allows this as a qualifying event. However, the chances of insurance covering an elective abortion are unlikely. What About Her Own Insurance in Nebraska? Under Nebraska law , standard health insurance plans in the state cannot cover elective abortion unless the insured purchases a separate abortion rider. Medicaid in Nebraska covers abortion only in limited circumstances. In most cases, the abortion pill in Nebraska will be an out-of-pocket cost. What She Should Know About the Drug The abortion pill uses two drugs. The first, mifepristone , blocks progesterone, a hormone required to sustain the pregnancy. The second, misoprostol , taken a day or two later, causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy tissue. The FDA approves this drug regimen through 10 weeks of gestation. Nebraska law also requires that the abortion pill be prescribed and administered in person by a physician. Complications can include heavy bleeding, infection , incomplete abortion, and digestive system discomfort. If the drug does not fully end the pregnancy, a follow-up procedure might be required. Getting the Facts First A free ultrasound at Collage confirms your girlfriend’s gestational age, whether the pregnancy is in the uterus, and whether the pregnancy is progressing. An ectopic pregnancy (when the pregnancy implants outside the uterus) requires different medical treatment than abortion, and could be life-threatening if left untreated. An ultrasound can rule out this complication. Schedule a free, confidential appointment at Collage today. Call: 308.234.9880 in Kearney or 308.675.2217 in Grand Island. *All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing. **Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

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