My Boyfriend Wants To Have Sex And I Don’t Think I’m Ready

Dear Collage,

My boyfriend and I have been dating a while, and he wants to have sex. I’m not sure I want to, but he keeps mentioning it. He says I’m not able to give him what he wants, but I’m so scared. I feel like I sound stupid or selfish. And I’m worried because he’s so annoyed with me. Help.

If this letter describes you and your situation, we want you to know first and foremost that you aren’t stupid or selfish. You’re confused and scared, and those are normal things to feel when considering having sex for the first time (or for the first time with a new person). And it isn’t selfish to set and maintain boundaries for yourself.

Next, the decision to have sex is a big decision! And it’s a decision you get to make for yourself. Only you can know when you’re ready.

How will you know when you’re ready for sex?

Well, there are a lot of things to consider to determine whether you’re ready for sex or not.

Do you feel pressured?

If the main motivation is pressure from a boyfriend, then it’s not the right time for you to have sex. You deserve to have your boundaries respected. If you’ve said you aren’t ready and your partner is pressuring you, then your partner isn’t respecting your boundaries.

What’s your inner voice say?

If you have any doubt at all about whether you’re ready, you aren’t ready. And that’s OK. Listen to your inner voice. You have the rest of your life to have sex. There’s no reason to rush into it. Give yourself time. Know your own values. Know your own needs. Know your own boundaries. Anyone who truly loves you will respect that.

Have you talked about STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and pregnancy?

If you can’t communicate about sex openly and honestly, then you’re definitely not ready to actually have sex. Before you have sex, you owe it to yourself to talk about preventing pregnancy and STDs. And remember hormonal birth control may be effective at preventing pregnancy, but it won’t prevent the spread of STDs. The only sure way to prevent STDs is to only have sex in a mutually monogamous relationship with someone who doesn’t have an STD (which means you both only ever have any kind of sex with each other).

Where are you in your relationship?

And we don’t only mean how long have you been dating. How much do you know about each other? How emotionally intimate are you? Do you feel completely comfortable with each other. Sometimes physical intimacy is easier than emotional intimacy. And sometimes becoming physically intimate before you’re emotionally intimate can cause bigger problems.

It’s really complicated if your boyfriend wants to have sex and you don’t. It can feel like you’re the one messing things up. But you deserve to wait until you’re completely ready. And if you’re not sure you’re ready, that means you’re not ready.

Talk to your boyfriend about this when you’re not in the heat of the moment. Explain your boundaries and tell him you need for him to respect those. If he continues to pressure you or attempts to manipulate you (If you really love me, you’ll have sex with me. I need this; and if you love me, you’ll give me what I need.), then he isn’t respecting you. That means you may have bigger issues in your relationship — and not having sex with this guy has saved you even more heartache. Because if your boyfriend truly loves you, he will not pressure you to violate your own standards or your own inner voice. He will respect you and wait until you’re both ready.

If you need to talk some more, we’re here for you. We want to support you in your right to decide when you’re ready. Call us and schedule a time to come in and talk to one of our staff members.

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How Soon After Sex Should I Get Tested for an STD?

November 6, 2026

New ParagraphIf you recently had sex and are wondering when to get tested for an STD, there is not one waiting period that applies to every infection. Different STDs take different amounts of time to become detectable, and the type of test being used can also affect when an infection may show up. Testing too soon after exposure may yield a negative result even when an infection is present. If you are unsure about your timing, schedule an appointment with Collage. We offer no-cost testing and treatment for chlamydia and gonorrhea , and our licensed medical professionals are here to answer your questions. Treatment is provided if a test is positive, and medical professionals are available to answer your questions. Why Timing Matters After exposure to an STD, there can be a period of time before a test can detect the infection. That window is not the same for every STD. Some infections may become detectable sooner than others, and certain situations may call for repeat testing after an initial negative result. This is why testing the day after sex will not necessarily give you the information you are looking for. A medical professional can consider when the exposure occurred, your symptoms, and the type of testing available. You Can Have an STD Without Symptoms Do not assume that feeling fine means there is no reason to get tested. Some sexually transmitted infections cause no symptoms or only mild symptoms. When symptoms do occur, they may include: Sores or bumps on the genitals or in the oral or rectal area Painful or burning urination Unusual or odorous vaginal discharge Unusual vaginal bleeding Pain during sex Sore, swollen lymph nodes, often in the groin area Fever Chlamydia may cause symptoms such as unusual discharge or burning with urination, but many people don’t notice symptoms at all. Gonorrhea can cause similar symptoms and may affect the genitals, rectum, or throat. However, because symptoms aren't always present, testing can identify an infection that might otherwise go unnoticed. If you develop symptoms or learn that a sexual partner has tested positive for an STD, contact a healthcare professional rather than waiting to see whether symptoms appear or go away. Why Testing Is Worth Doing Some untreated STDs can cause problems beyond the initial infection. Depending on the infection, complications can include arthritis, certain cancers, infertility, and pelvic inflammatory disease. Testing gives you the opportunity to identify an infection and receive treatment if available. A medical professional can also explain whether follow-up or repeat testing is recommended. Regular screening may also be appropriate for some people based on factors such as age, sexual history, new or multiple partners, and previous STDs. Start With Testing at Collage Collage offers testing for chlamydia and gonorrhea at no cost. Both infections commonly occur without obvious symptoms, so testing can be important even when you feel well. Both infections can be treated with the appropriate antibiotics. If your test is positive, Collage will contact you to schedule an appointment to come in for treatment. Schedule an initial STD testing appointment with Collage today to ask your questions and find out what is appropriate for you. Call us in Kearney at 308.234.9880 and in Grand Island at 308.675.2217. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

Can I Change My Mind After Taking the First Abortion Pill?

September 30, 2026

If you took the first abortion pill, it’s possible to start wishing you hadn’t. The regret may have hit you immediately, or it might have taken a few hours to realize that you want to continue the pregnancy. Either way, there may still be something you can do: abortion pill reversal (APR) may be an option. The first drug used in the abortion pill regimen is usually mifepristone. If you have taken mifepristone but now want to continue your pregnancy, call the Abortion Pill Reversal Network at 1-877-558-0333 right away. Their Helpline is available 24/7 and can connect you with a medical provider who can administer APR. If You Have Only Taken the First Pill Mifepristone works by blocking progesterone. Progesterone helps maintain the lining of the uterus during pregnancy. When this hormone is blocked, the uterine lining thins, and the pregnancy ends. The second drug in the abortion pill regimen is misoprostol , which causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy. Abortion pill reversal involves giving progesterone after mifepristone in an effort to allow the pregnancy to continue. Don’t Wait for Symptoms Before Calling You may wonder whether you should wait before deciding what to do. But if you want to try to continue the pregnancy, call first. It’s critical to start the protocol as soon as possible, ideally within 24 to 48 hours of taking mifepristone. However, you should still call even when more time has passed; it may not be too late. A medical provider can determine whether APR may still be appropriate. Does Reversal Always Work? Abortion pill reversal cannot guarantee that the pregnancy will continue. One published study reported ongoing pregnancy rates of approximately 64% to 68% with certain progesterone regimens, but individual outcomes vary. The important thing is to get medical guidance quickly rather than trying to determine your chances on your own. What if You Already Took Misoprostol? If you have already taken misoprostol, contact a healthcare professional promptly and explain exactly what you took and when. You should also seek immediate medical attention if you develop symptoms that concern you or believe you may be experiencing a medical emergency. Make the Call Now Changing your mind after taking mifepristone can be frightening, especially when you’re unsure whether there is still time to act. You don’t need to figure that out yourself. Call the Abortion Pill Reversal Network at 1-877-558-0333 as soon as possible and tell them when you took mifepristone. They can explain whether abortion pill reversal may still be an option and connect you with an appropriate provider. You can also contact Collage if you need someone to speak with while you work through your next steps. We’re here to help you. *Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. **All abortion information in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.

I’ve Already Had an Abortion and Don’t Want Another One. What Are My Options?

September 7, 2026

Seeing another positive pregnancy test after having had a past abortion may bring up memories or emotions from that experience. If you already know you don’t want another abortion, you may be wondering what other choices you have and whether either feels realistic for your life right now. You have time to learn about your options and the available support. Collage is here to give you a place to discuss your circumstances so you can decide what’s right for you. Schedule a no-cost appointment today to learn more about your pregnancy and what your next steps could look like. And read on to learn more about your pregnancy options besides abortion. Consider What Parenting Would Require You may want to parent but have concerns about whether you can make it work. Finances, housing, childcare, your relationship, work, or school can all influence how possible this option feels right now. Before deciding that those challenges make parenting unrealistic, it can help to identify your biggest concerns individually. Some of those concerns may have solutions you haven’t considered yet. Think about the support you already have, along with what you would need during pregnancy and after your baby arrives. Knowing where the gaps are can make it easier to find resources rather than trying to solve everything at once. Learn More About Adoption If you don’t want another abortion but aren’t ready to parent, adoption is another option. Today, a woman making an adoption plan can have a significant role in deciding what that plan looks like. Depending on the type of adoption, you may be able to choose an adoptive family and decide what level of contact you would like after placement. Open, semi-open, and closed adoption offer different levels of communication and privacy. Speaking with a licensed adoption professional can help you understand these differences, your rights, and what the process would involve before you make any commitments. Discuss Your Options in a Confidential Space Having had an abortion before does not mean you have to make the same pregnancy decision again. Your feelings, circumstances, priorities, or perspective may be different this time. If you know you don’t want another abortion, start by learning what parenting and adoption could realistically look like in your current situation. Collage provides a place to talk about your pregnancy and the concerns influencing your decision. We can also connect you with adoption agencies and community organizations that provide the support you’re seeking. Reaching out doesn’t lock you into a specific decision. Schedule a no-cost appointment with Collage today to get your questions answered and explore the options available to you. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.