What Do I Need To Know About My Pregnant Wife?

June 2, 2018
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So the pregnancy test is positive; you’re going to be a dad! Now that the initial shock or excitement (or both) has calmed, you might be wondering what in the world you should know about your pregnant wife.

Obviously we can’t fit everything you need to know about pregnancy into one blog post. But here are 7 things you need to know about your pregnant wife.


1 - She’s hungry. Seriously, the stereotypes exist for a reason. She’s growing an entire human being inside her. That takes a lot of sustenance! She’s hungry. Of course, she may only be really hungry for certain things — pregnancy cravings are actually a thing. If you want to be the hero-husband, give her the food she’s hungry for. Even if that means driving around town in search of the right queso or the best chocolate milkshake or the exact ingredients she wants in her salad.


2 - She’s tired. Growing a person and a placenta is exhausting. Your wife is probably tired in a way she’s never experienced before. If you’re understanding of that exhaustion and do what you can to help her rest, she will be so grateful.


3 - She’s hormonal. The hormones are real. And it takes a lot of them to grow a baby! All that to say, your wife will probably be much more moody than usual. Rest assured – she doesn’t like the mood swings any more than you do. When she feels like she won an Olympic gold medal one minute and like she just missed the final shot in the NBA finals the next, she doesn’t understand it either. Pregnancy hormones are not to be understood; they are to be survived. She probably needs you to be very patient with her as you both endure the hormones.


4 - She’s uncomfortable. Her body is morphing and growing in ways she’s never experienced. Her rib cage and hip bones are expanding and moving to make room for another person inside her. As the baby grows, she feels like her bladder is becoming a tiny trampoline. Getting comfortable in bed becomes more and more challenging (thus all the pillows!). She needs you to be empathetic.


5 - She’s worried you aren’t attracted to her. As we just said, her body is changing and growing. She’s gaining weight (probably in places other than her tummy); she may be growing hair in unusual places; she may have a dark line down her abdomen or stretch marks on her sides; she might have varicose veins in her legs; her ankles might be swollen. There’s a chance she isn’t feeling her most attractive right now. So she needs to know you think she’s beautiful. Tell her. Often.


6 - She’s scared. Oh, there are so many things to be afraid of when you’re expecting a baby! What are pregnant women afraid of? Maybe that she won’t be a good mother or that she won’t know what to do. Maybe she’s scared of labor and how much it will hurt. Maybe that something will go wrong with the baby. Maybe that something will happen to you and she will have to do this all on her own. Maybe she’s afraid about financial pressures. Maybe she’s scared her relationship with you will change. Like we said, there are so many things to fear when you’re having a baby. You’re probably afraid of some of those same things. Maybe you can talk about those things and reassure each other and face those scary things together.


7 - She needs you. You might sometimes feel a little left out or unnecessary because she is the one who gets to carry your child and give birth. But please know – your wife needs you. She probably feels vulnerable and raw and tired and scared, and she needs you to be her partner. Things are always better when we know we aren’t facing life alone. She needs your help making decisions and offering emotional support. She needs your affirmation and reassurance. Even though she’s the one carrying the baby, you are vital!



Although having a baby is a huge deal and can be completely overwhelming, this is such a special time in your lives. Pregnancy and parenting can help you and your wife draw closer together and become even more of a team than you imagined. If you don’t know how your wife is feeling or what she needs from you, ask her! Without a doubt, she’ll appreciate you even more as she sees how much you care.

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Seeing another positive pregnancy test after having had a past abortion may bring up memories or emotions from that experience. If you already know you don’t want another abortion, you may be wondering what other choices you have and whether either feels realistic for your life right now. You have time to learn about your options and the available support. Collage is here to give you a place to discuss your circumstances so you can decide what’s right for you. Schedule a no-cost appointment today to learn more about your pregnancy and what your next steps could look like. And read on to learn more about your pregnancy options besides abortion. Consider What Parenting Would Require You may want to parent but have concerns about whether you can make it work. Finances, housing, childcare, your relationship, work, or school can all influence how possible this option feels right now. Before deciding that those challenges make parenting unrealistic, it can help to identify your biggest concerns individually. Some of those concerns may have solutions you haven’t considered yet. Think about the support you already have, along with what you would need during pregnancy and after your baby arrives. Knowing where the gaps are can make it easier to find resources rather than trying to solve everything at once. Learn More About Adoption If you don’t want another abortion but aren’t ready to parent, adoption is another option. Today, a woman making an adoption plan can have a significant role in deciding what that plan looks like. Depending on the type of adoption, you may be able to choose an adoptive family and decide what level of contact you would like after placement. Open, semi-open, and closed adoption offer different levels of communication and privacy. Speaking with a licensed adoption professional can help you understand these differences, your rights, and what the process would involve before you make any commitments. Discuss Your Options in a Confidential Space Having had an abortion before does not mean you have to make the same pregnancy decision again. Your feelings, circumstances, priorities, or perspective may be different this time. If you know you don’t want another abortion, start by learning what parenting and adoption could realistically look like in your current situation. Collage provides a place to talk about your pregnancy and the concerns influencing your decision. We can also connect you with adoption agencies and community organizations that provide the support you’re seeking. Reaching out doesn’t lock you into a specific decision. Schedule a no-cost appointment with Collage today to get your questions answered and explore the options available to you. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
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