5 Love Languages

February 9, 2019
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What makes you feel loved?


When someone spends focused time with you? When someone gives you a gift? When someone encourages you or gives you compliments? When someone hugs you or holds your hand? When someone does your laundry or cooks a meal for you?


Over 20 years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a New York Times bestselling book called The Five Love Languages. All these years later, Dr. Chapman’s concept of five love languages has expanded to include not only marriage relationships, but parents’ relationships with their children and teenagers and even an edition for single people that concentrates on relationships with parents, friends, and co-workers.

So what are the five love languages?


Dr. Chapman explains it this way, “My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” So the way you speak and understand emotional love is your primary love language.


If you understand how your partner (or your child or your parent or your best friend) speaks and understands and receives love, then you can make sure you’re showing love in the way that person primarily feels loved. And if you know how you most feel loved, you can tell your partner (or child or parent or best friend), so that person can show love to you in the way you primarily feel loved. Obviously, you can’t read another person’s mind, but understanding the way he expresses and feels loved is a peek inside his mind. And it’s one of the simplest ways to improve a relationship.


In a nutshell, the five love languages are —


Words of Affirmation – Using words to affirm someone — compliments and words of affection, words of praise or appreciation. This might be a verbal compliment or a love note, a text message saying what you love about someone or a simple “You’re awesome” written on a dry erase board.

 

Acts of Service – Actions speak louder than words — showing love rather than simply telling it. What does this look like? Maybe taking your person’s car through the car wash or carrying their trash to the curb. It might be doing a chore he especially hates or running an errand to save her time.

 

Receiving Gifts – Gifts are a symbol of love. These might be major gifts, like an expensive thing your loved one has been wanting. Or it could be picking up his favorite soda or her favorite lotion the next time you’re at the store.

 

Quality Time – Giving someone your undivided attention, spending time together. The key to this is undivided attention and quality time. Put away your phones and look at each other. Turn off the television and look at each other. Plan time away together – a weekend hiking trip or a day at the beach, a week of vacation in the summer or a block of time together around the holidays. Play a game together, go on a walk, spend just ten minutes talking about your day and reconnecting.

 

Physical Touch – Feeling affection through physical touch. When we think of showing or experiencing love through physical touch, our minds usually jump straight to sex. But this love language isn’t necessarily about sex. And experiencing love through physical touch isn’t tied to a person’s sex drive. This also doesn’t equate to a lot of PDA (public displays of affection).


If physical touch is your love language, you can experience or feel love through hand-holding, hugging, sitting close to your loved one or through a gentle touch on the arm or a simple shoulder squeeze. If your boyfriend or girlfriend’s love language is physical touch, that doesn’t mean you have to have to sex. You can still help your partner feel loved in his or her love language in other ways. You can respect your own physical boundaries and show love to your boyfriend or girlfriend.


As you read that list, you might think, “Oh yeah, that really makes me feel loved!” Or maybe a couple of the languages seem to really speak love to you. Dr. Chapman’s website offers a free quiz to help you figure out your love language.


Knowing what makes you feel loved and what doesn’t particularly make you feel loved can help as you navigate a relationship. And knowing how the people in your life understand and express love can help improve your relationships.


Maybe your Valentine’s gift to yourself or your loved one is taking the quiz, discovering your love languages, and sharing the quiz results. You deserve to feel loved!

February 10, 2026
An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever.  Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
January 23, 2026
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
December 17, 2025
Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try:  Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
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