5 Love Languages

February 9, 2019
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What makes you feel loved?


When someone spends focused time with you? When someone gives you a gift? When someone encourages you or gives you compliments? When someone hugs you or holds your hand? When someone does your laundry or cooks a meal for you?


Over 20 years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a New York Times bestselling book called The Five Love Languages. All these years later, Dr. Chapman’s concept of five love languages has expanded to include not only marriage relationships, but parents’ relationships with their children and teenagers and even an edition for single people that concentrates on relationships with parents, friends, and co-workers.

So what are the five love languages?


Dr. Chapman explains it this way, “My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” So the way you speak and understand emotional love is your primary love language.


If you understand how your partner (or your child or your parent or your best friend) speaks and understands and receives love, then you can make sure you’re showing love in the way that person primarily feels loved. And if you know how you most feel loved, you can tell your partner (or child or parent or best friend), so that person can show love to you in the way you primarily feel loved. Obviously, you can’t read another person’s mind, but understanding the way he expresses and feels loved is a peek inside his mind. And it’s one of the simplest ways to improve a relationship.


In a nutshell, the five love languages are —


Words of Affirmation – Using words to affirm someone — compliments and words of affection, words of praise or appreciation. This might be a verbal compliment or a love note, a text message saying what you love about someone or a simple “You’re awesome” written on a dry erase board.

 

Acts of Service – Actions speak louder than words — showing love rather than simply telling it. What does this look like? Maybe taking your person’s car through the car wash or carrying their trash to the curb. It might be doing a chore he especially hates or running an errand to save her time.

 

Receiving Gifts – Gifts are a symbol of love. These might be major gifts, like an expensive thing your loved one has been wanting. Or it could be picking up his favorite soda or her favorite lotion the next time you’re at the store.

 

Quality Time – Giving someone your undivided attention, spending time together. The key to this is undivided attention and quality time. Put away your phones and look at each other. Turn off the television and look at each other. Plan time away together – a weekend hiking trip or a day at the beach, a week of vacation in the summer or a block of time together around the holidays. Play a game together, go on a walk, spend just ten minutes talking about your day and reconnecting.

 

Physical Touch – Feeling affection through physical touch. When we think of showing or experiencing love through physical touch, our minds usually jump straight to sex. But this love language isn’t necessarily about sex. And experiencing love through physical touch isn’t tied to a person’s sex drive. This also doesn’t equate to a lot of PDA (public displays of affection).


If physical touch is your love language, you can experience or feel love through hand-holding, hugging, sitting close to your loved one or through a gentle touch on the arm or a simple shoulder squeeze. If your boyfriend or girlfriend’s love language is physical touch, that doesn’t mean you have to have to sex. You can still help your partner feel loved in his or her love language in other ways. You can respect your own physical boundaries and show love to your boyfriend or girlfriend.


As you read that list, you might think, “Oh yeah, that really makes me feel loved!” Or maybe a couple of the languages seem to really speak love to you. Dr. Chapman’s website offers a free quiz to help you figure out your love language.


Knowing what makes you feel loved and what doesn’t particularly make you feel loved can help as you navigate a relationship. And knowing how the people in your life understand and express love can help improve your relationships.


Maybe your Valentine’s gift to yourself or your loved one is taking the quiz, discovering your love languages, and sharing the quiz results. You deserve to feel loved!

Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

January 23, 2026
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

How to Handle Holiday Gatherings When You Haven’t Shared Your Pregnancy News Yet

December 17, 2025
Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try:  Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

I Don’t Want Another Abortion

November 11, 2025
Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
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