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5 Love Languages

February 9, 2019

What makes you feel loved?


When someone spends focused time with you? When someone gives you a gift? When someone encourages you or gives you compliments? When someone hugs you or holds your hand? When someone does your laundry or cooks a meal for you?


Over 20 years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a New York Times bestselling book called The Five Love Languages. All these years later, Dr. Chapman’s concept of five love languages has expanded to include not only marriage relationships, but parents’ relationships with their children and teenagers and even an edition for single people that concentrates on relationships with parents, friends, and co-workers.

So what are the five love languages?


Dr. Chapman explains it this way, “My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” So the way you speak and understand emotional love is your primary love language.


If you understand how your partner (or your child or your parent or your best friend) speaks and understands and receives love, then you can make sure you’re showing love in the way that person primarily feels loved. And if you know how you most feel loved, you can tell your partner (or child or parent or best friend), so that person can show love to you in the way you primarily feel loved. Obviously, you can’t read another person’s mind, but understanding the way he expresses and feels loved is a peek inside his mind. And it’s one of the simplest ways to improve a relationship.


In a nutshell, the five love languages are —


Words of Affirmation – Using words to affirm someone — compliments and words of affection, words of praise or appreciation. This might be a verbal compliment or a love note, a text message saying what you love about someone or a simple “You’re awesome” written on a dry erase board.

 

Acts of Service – Actions speak louder than words — showing love rather than simply telling it. What does this look like? Maybe taking your person’s car through the car wash or carrying their trash to the curb. It might be doing a chore he especially hates or running an errand to save her time.

 

Receiving Gifts – Gifts are a symbol of love. These might be major gifts, like an expensive thing your loved one has been wanting. Or it could be picking up his favorite soda or her favorite lotion the next time you’re at the store.

 

Quality Time – Giving someone your undivided attention, spending time together. The key to this is undivided attention and quality time. Put away your phones and look at each other. Turn off the television and look at each other. Plan time away together – a weekend hiking trip or a day at the beach, a week of vacation in the summer or a block of time together around the holidays. Play a game together, go on a walk, spend just ten minutes talking about your day and reconnecting.

 

Physical Touch – Feeling affection through physical touch. When we think of showing or experiencing love through physical touch, our minds usually jump straight to sex. But this love language isn’t necessarily about sex. And experiencing love through physical touch isn’t tied to a person’s sex drive. This also doesn’t equate to a lot of PDA (public displays of affection).


If physical touch is your love language, you can experience or feel love through hand-holding, hugging, sitting close to your loved one or through a gentle touch on the arm or a simple shoulder squeeze. If your boyfriend or girlfriend’s love language is physical touch, that doesn’t mean you have to have to sex. You can still help your partner feel loved in his or her love language in other ways. You can respect your own physical boundaries and show love to your boyfriend or girlfriend.


As you read that list, you might think, “Oh yeah, that really makes me feel loved!” Or maybe a couple of the languages seem to really speak love to you. Dr. Chapman’s website offers a free quiz to help you figure out your love language.


Knowing what makes you feel loved and what doesn’t particularly make you feel loved can help as you navigate a relationship. And knowing how the people in your life understand and express love can help improve your relationships.


Maybe your Valentine’s gift to yourself or your loved one is taking the quiz, discovering your love languages, and sharing the quiz results. You deserve to feel loved!

What to Do When Friends and Family Are Pressuring You into an Abortion Decision

April 2, 2025
What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next. How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience. Mental Health and Pressure Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes. Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want. Ways to Handle the Pressure Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure. Give Yourself Time You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms. Learn About All Your Options Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with. Set Boundaries It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you. Advice from a Third Party Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle. This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment. You Are Not Alone Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision. Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty.  Schedule a confidential appointment today.

The Role of Support Systems When Considering Abortion

March 7, 2025
Discovering you’re pregnant when you weren’t expecting can feel like the ground has shifted beneath you. A flood of questions may rush in. What do I do? Who can I talk to? How will this change my life? In moments like these, having a strong support system can make all the difference. The people around you—family, friends, a partner, or trusted mentors—can provide clarity, encouragement, and resources to help you navigate your options. Why Support Systems Matter It’s easy to feel isolated during an unexpected pregnancy with high stress and emotions. However, decisions made in isolation can be overwhelming and may lead to regret. Having a support system allows you to process your emotions, ask questions, and consider your next steps with a clear mind. Those who care about you can offer reassurance and help you explore the emotional, physical, and practical aspects of your decision. Avoiding Pressure and Outside Influence Unfortunately, some women experience pressure from their partner, family members, or even friends to make a decision they aren’t comfortable with. A healthy support system respects your right to make an informed choice without coercion. If you’re feeling pressured, it’s essential to reach out to someone who will listen, not dictate. Support should come from those who uplift and empower you, not those who push you into a choice based on their preferences. Seeking Reliable Information It’s crucial to have access to accurate medical information about abortion, its risks, and its alternatives. A strong support system can help you connect with organizations (such as Collage ) that offer factual, judgment-free care. You can also seek help from professional counselors or a mentor, but ultimately, surrounding yourself with people who prioritize your well-being can bring insight and peace of mind to your decision-making process. We’re Here For You At Collage, we understand how important support is when considering your options. We offer free and confidential pregnancy services, including lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, abortion information, and more so you can make an informed choice. Even if you don’t feel you have a support system in your life, you have one with us. Reach out today to learn more about how we’re here for you.

Why Does an Ultrasound Matter if I’m Considering Abortion?

February 13, 2025
If you’re thinking about abortion, an ultrasound is a crucial step to gather essential information about your pregnancy. It provides key details that can help determine which options are available to you and ensures your health and safety as you make this important decision. At Collage , we offer free limited OB ultrasounds to give you the clarity and support you need, as well as more information on your pregnancy options. Ultrasounds During Pregnancy An ultrasound is a diagnostic tool that uses sound waves to create detailed images of your body. These images provide vital insights into your pregnancy, helping you make an informed decision. Here are three critical pieces of information an ultrasound can reveal: 1. The Location of Your Pregnancy An ultrasound can confirm if your pregnancy is located in the uterus. Sometimes, a pregnancy can implant outside the uterus, typically in a fallopian tube, resulting in an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is a serious condition that cannot result in a live birth and requires immediate medical attention to avoid a life-threatening situation. Even if you’re considering abortion, identifying an ectopic pregnancy through ultrasound is essential to protect your health. 2. How Far Along You Are (Gestational Age) Understanding how far along you are is critical for determining which abortion options you can access. For example, the abortion pill is FDA-approved only for pregnancies up to ten weeks gestation. If your pregnancy is further along, a surgical abortion would be the alternative option available, depending on the circumstances. Period-tracking apps can estimate gestational age, but they lack the accuracy of an ultrasound, which can precisely date your pregnancy. 3. Whether Your Pregnancy Is Progressing Not all pregnancies continue as expected—approximately 26% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. An ultrasound can detect if a miscarriage has occurred so you can follow up with the appropriate care plan. Protect Your Health As you can see, an ultrasound is an essential step in protecting your health and understanding your options. You deserve to make an informed and confident decision and the free limited OB ultrasounds Collage provides will help you to do just that. Contact us today to schedule your appointment. Our care and support are designed to help you through this crucial time. Let us be a source of strength for you.
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