5 Love Languages

February 9, 2019
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What makes you feel loved?


When someone spends focused time with you? When someone gives you a gift? When someone encourages you or gives you compliments? When someone hugs you or holds your hand? When someone does your laundry or cooks a meal for you?


Over 20 years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a New York Times bestselling book called The Five Love Languages. All these years later, Dr. Chapman’s concept of five love languages has expanded to include not only marriage relationships, but parents’ relationships with their children and teenagers and even an edition for single people that concentrates on relationships with parents, friends, and co-workers.

So what are the five love languages?


Dr. Chapman explains it this way, “My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” So the way you speak and understand emotional love is your primary love language.


If you understand how your partner (or your child or your parent or your best friend) speaks and understands and receives love, then you can make sure you’re showing love in the way that person primarily feels loved. And if you know how you most feel loved, you can tell your partner (or child or parent or best friend), so that person can show love to you in the way you primarily feel loved. Obviously, you can’t read another person’s mind, but understanding the way he expresses and feels loved is a peek inside his mind. And it’s one of the simplest ways to improve a relationship.


In a nutshell, the five love languages are —


Words of Affirmation – Using words to affirm someone — compliments and words of affection, words of praise or appreciation. This might be a verbal compliment or a love note, a text message saying what you love about someone or a simple “You’re awesome” written on a dry erase board.

 

Acts of Service – Actions speak louder than words — showing love rather than simply telling it. What does this look like? Maybe taking your person’s car through the car wash or carrying their trash to the curb. It might be doing a chore he especially hates or running an errand to save her time.

 

Receiving Gifts – Gifts are a symbol of love. These might be major gifts, like an expensive thing your loved one has been wanting. Or it could be picking up his favorite soda or her favorite lotion the next time you’re at the store.

 

Quality Time – Giving someone your undivided attention, spending time together. The key to this is undivided attention and quality time. Put away your phones and look at each other. Turn off the television and look at each other. Plan time away together – a weekend hiking trip or a day at the beach, a week of vacation in the summer or a block of time together around the holidays. Play a game together, go on a walk, spend just ten minutes talking about your day and reconnecting.

 

Physical Touch – Feeling affection through physical touch. When we think of showing or experiencing love through physical touch, our minds usually jump straight to sex. But this love language isn’t necessarily about sex. And experiencing love through physical touch isn’t tied to a person’s sex drive. This also doesn’t equate to a lot of PDA (public displays of affection).


If physical touch is your love language, you can experience or feel love through hand-holding, hugging, sitting close to your loved one or through a gentle touch on the arm or a simple shoulder squeeze. If your boyfriend or girlfriend’s love language is physical touch, that doesn’t mean you have to have to sex. You can still help your partner feel loved in his or her love language in other ways. You can respect your own physical boundaries and show love to your boyfriend or girlfriend.


As you read that list, you might think, “Oh yeah, that really makes me feel loved!” Or maybe a couple of the languages seem to really speak love to you. Dr. Chapman’s website offers a free quiz to help you figure out your love language.


Knowing what makes you feel loved and what doesn’t particularly make you feel loved can help as you navigate a relationship. And knowing how the people in your life understand and express love can help improve your relationships.


Maybe your Valentine’s gift to yourself or your loved one is taking the quiz, discovering your love languages, and sharing the quiz results. You deserve to feel loved!

I Don’t Want Another Abortion

November 11, 2025
Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

What Can Guys Do with an Unexpected Pregnancy?

By Kirsten Berns • October 28, 2025
Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity.  Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.

How Will Abortion Affect Me Mentally?

September 24, 2025
When considering abortion, it’s natural to wonder how the decision could affect your mental health. While every woman’s experience is different, being aware of possible emotional impacts and taking time to reflect on your circumstances can help you make an informed choice. At Collage, we provide free, confidential support so you don’t have to navigate these questions alone. Our staff is here to listen, answer your questions, and connect you with the resources you need as you process your options. Contact us to schedule your appointment today.  What Research Suggests Research has shown that abortion can lead to a range of emotional responses. The American Psychological Association notes that some women experience grief, sadness, or even clinically significant issues like depression and anxiety afterward. Certain factors may make these outcomes more likely, such as: A history of mental health challenges Pressure from others to make a decision Lack of support or secrecy about the pregnancy Strong personal, cultural, or spiritual beliefs Wanting to continue the pregnancy but feeling unable to Recognizing how these factors may apply to your situation can help you prepare and seek support. You Have Other Options You are the one who will live with this decision, so it’s important not to rush. Confirming your pregnancy with a lab- quality test and ultrasound can provide clarity and help you understand your options, which include parenting and adoption. Speaking with a counselor or a healthcare professional can also give you space to process your feelings without judgment. We’re Here for You At Collage, we offer free pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds, and confidential consultations so you can explore your options with accurate information and compassionate support. Schedule your free appointment today. You deserve the time, space, and care to make a confident decision with your mental health top of mind. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do provide pre-abortion screenings.
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