Dating App Safety
February 23, 2019
There’s an app for just about everything.
We order our Sonic limeade with an app, then swing by to pick it up. We keep track of our coffee reward points with our Starbucks app. Want to deposit a check but don’t want to drive to the bank? Open the banking app, snap a photo of the check, push a button, and it’s magically deposited in the account. Need to borrow 5 dollars? No problem! I’ll pay for you, and you can Venmo me the money. See? We’ve even turned the names of the apps into verbs!
So it isn’t surprising that our dating lives revolve around apps too. Though online dating used to have a stigma or seem like a big deal, now it’s just a given part of living in a digital age. Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, PlentyOfFish, Hinge, Match — and the list just continues to grow. Finding a date through an app is the normal way to date now.
But what should you know before you swipe right? Here are a few things to keep in mind regarding dating app safety.
- Be cautious about connecting your dating app with your social media accounts. Some of the dating apps are tied to your social media and find matches for you based on mutual friends or mutual likes and interests and location check-ins. That could be convenient. But you probably don’t want strangers to have access to information about you. It’s a good idea to give away as little identifying information about yourself in your dating profile. This protects you from the people who use dating apps for creepy reasons. Don’t use your last name. Don’t give out any information that lets strangers know exactly who you are, where you live or work, or how to find you.
- Don’t use the same photo you use for social media. It’s the same principle. To protect yourself, you need to protect your full identity from the broad audience of dating apps. It’s easy to do a reverse image search through Google. If you use the same photo for a dating app that you use in your Facebook or Twitter profile pic, anyone can find you in real life.
- Be aware of location settings. A lot of dating apps will use your location, but people who look at your profile shouldn’t be able to see exactly where you are. Make sure your settings don’t let them.
- Send messages only through the app. Again, this protects you. It’s risky to give out your real phone number. So send messages through the app rather than sending texts through your phone. And if you do decide to talk on the phone before you meet up in real life, get a Google phone number. It’s free, and it routes the call through the Google number rather than giving your actual phone number to this random person you don’t really know.
- Get to know each other, but don’t give out too much information too early. As you send messages back and forth getting to know each other, be on guard. Don’t give out too much information. Unfortunately, some people join dating apps with sinister plans. You deserve to protect yourself from having your identity stolen, from being stalked, from being assaulted.
- Guard your personal information as you’re getting to know someone. You aren’t being rude; you’re being wise.
- You may not be talking to the person you think you are. That 22-year-old Brandon you’re talking to may actually be 40-year-old Sue or 50-year-old Dan. Have you seen the show Catfish? There’s a reason that show’s been on since 2012. There are people who pretend to be someone online that they aren’t in real life.
- Be prepared for the worst. The jokes and stereotypes about dating apps exist for a reason. You might get a message with sexist comments, lewd suggestions, or unsolicited nude photos. Report anyone who violates the app’s policies, and practices using features that let you block the creeps.
- When you meet up, meet in a public place. Only meet in a place with a lot of people around. You have no idea who you’re actually meeting. Again, you deserve protection from anyone with bad intentions. And you’re further protected if you meet in the daylight in a non-drinking environment for the first date.
- Share your geolocation with a trusted friend. If a couple of friends can’t go along when you meet up with your dating app match, at least share your location with them. While you’re at it, make sure a friend has the name of the person you’re meeting up with.
- Drive yourself. Or get a friend to drive you. But don’t rely on your date for a ride. Remember how your parents told you not to get into the car with strangers? It’s still a good policy. Again – you aren’t being rude. And if your date tries to pressure you to ride to a second location with him or to let him drive you home, it’s ok to kindly and firmly refuse. It isn’t rude to protect yourself. And it’s OK not to trust someone you just met.
- Before you are ever alone with a date, know him. Know his full name. Know his address. Know what his job is or where he goes to school. Talk to his friends. Until you really know him and the people who know him, he’s a stranger. Even if you’ve spent hours messaging back and forth through an app, he’s a stranger. Treat him like a stranger until you really know him and his people.
- Carry cash and your phone in your pocket. If your purse gets stolen, you’ll have some money and your phone with you.
- Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe – or even unsettled – trust your gut. Often our guts pick up on subtle things before our brains register information. If you don’t feel safe or if you feel uncomfortable, call a friend and leave. Have the friend meet you in another public place, so you can be sure your dating app match isn’t following you home.
Dating apps can be a fun way to meet someone new – if you are safe and protect yourself in the process. Remember – it’s never rude to protect yourself. And being safe is so much more important than being nice. So guard your personal information, refuse that ride home, don’t be alone with him, trust your gut, and share your location with a friend – there’s an app for that!
Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try: Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity. Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.
