A Dad’s Rights

June 23, 2019
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If you’ve just found out that your girlfriend or a girl you’ve been with is pregnant, you might be wondering what legal rights you have in the situation. Will you share custody or have regular visits with your child? Maybe she’s told you that she’s made an adoption plan, but you’re wondering – can she do that without you? Or she wants to have an abortion, but you’re not so sure – can you stop her?


Legally, what are the dad’s rights?


The specifics are a little different from state to state, so you’ll probably want to consult legal counsel. But there are some general guidelines.


If a pregnant woman is married, the courts assume the husband is the father of the baby. If the mother is not married, there is no legal presumption of paternity. The law doesn’t make any assumptions about who the father is, even if the mother is in a long-term dating relationship with a boyfriend. So paternity must be established. If an unwed father wants any legal rights, he has to establish paternity. And if the unwed mother wants the father to provide any financial child support, she has to establish his paternity.


How do you establish paternity?


One way is for the father’s name to be on the baby’s birth certificate. How do you do that? The father is present at the birth of the baby and helps fill out the birth certificate forms, making sure his name is listed.


But what if the mother and father aren’t in a relationship anymore and she doesn’t want him at the birth?

There’s still a way to establish paternity. Some states have something called a Putative Father Registry. Nebraska has a Biological Father Registry. This is a way for men to notify the state before a baby is even born, basically letting the state know he thinks he’s the father of a baby and wants to be notified or included in any decisions that affect custody of that child. You can look at this as a man staking his claim, declaring he intends to claim paternity of a child as soon as the baby is born. If a state has a Putative Father Registry, adoption agencies and the courts check that list before finalizing any adoptions.


If a father’s name isn’t on the birth certificate, most courts assume the father isn’t interested or doesn’t want to be involved. The Putative Father Registry, or Biological Father Registry, is a way for men to let the state know they do want to be involved. So if you’re a man and you think you’ve fathered a baby and want to be involved in that child’s life, it’s important that you get signed onto that registry as soon as you know about the pregnancy. This registry doesn’t establish paternity, but it is a step in that direction and helps protect the father’s rights. If your state doesn’t have a Putative Father Registry, then you can contact a family law attorney and ask about a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity form, which is another good first step in establishing paternity.


If the father’s name isn’t on the birth certificate, he can still establish paternity; it’s just a little more complicated. The father and baby will provide DNA to establish paternity. If the mother doesn’t want to cooperate, the man who wants to prove paternity will have to get a court order to get the DNA sample from the baby. A family law attorney can help with this. If you can’t afford an attorney, you can call your local Legal Aid Society and someone there can probably help you.


All of these steps can help a father be involved in the decision of whether or not to place a child for adoption and help a father get some level of custody. Once a man has indicated to the state that he wants to parent a child and doesn’t want to relinquish his parental rights, it’s very difficult – if not impossible – for a woman to place the baby for adoption without his permission.


What about abortion?

If a man’s wife or girlfriend is pregnant and chooses to have an abortion, she does not legally have to get his consent. The United States Supreme Court has found laws requiring a spouse’s consent for abortion to be unconstitutional. The Supreme Court also found a law requiring the father to be notified about an abortion to be unconstitutional. If a man and woman do not agree on whether or not to have an abortion, only one choice can be made, and the Supreme Court reasoned that because a pregnancy affects the woman more, the final decision rests with her. So if the woman wants an abortion, the man doesn’t have the legal right to prevent her from doing so.


The decision to terminate a pregnancy can be a very emotional one, especially if your partner chooses abortion and you would’ve preferred to raise the baby. If you’re a man in that situation, we’re here to provide resources and to help you get the counseling and support you need. Please call us today to schedule an appointment.


If you think you’ve fathered a baby, and you want to be involved in raising your child, good for you! Many studies show that children with involved fathers (or father-figures) fare better in every way. As a father, you have rights and responsibilities. If you’re not married to the mother, establishing those rights and responsibilities is a bit more complicated, but not impossible. Talk to a family law attorney or contact your local Legal Aid Society to take the appropriate steps to establish paternity and gain parental rights.

My Partner is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, But I’m Not Sure

February 10, 2026
An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever.  Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

January 23, 2026
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

How to Handle Holiday Gatherings When You Haven’t Shared Your Pregnancy News Yet

December 17, 2025
Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try:  Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
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