Domestic Violence – 5 Red Flags To Watch For

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone. It happens between heterosexual relationships and same-sex relationship. It happens across every socio-economic level, every race, every culture, every age range. And because abuse doesn’t usually start out with physical violence, the abuse can gradually creep up and slowly make you feel trapped.

So what are the warning signs? We’ve compiled a list of some red flags you can look out for. These signs aren’t a guarantee that your relationship is headed for physical abuse, but if you see a combination of these signs in your relationship, it should raise some red flags for you.

1 – Controlling behavior. If your partner does any of the following things, you’re wise to be extra cautious:

tries to tell you what to wear or how to look or criticizes your appearance or weight
refuses to let you work or, on the other extreme, forces you to work in a job you don’t want
becomes angry if you have a different opinion or never wants you to offer advice or input
has to know where you are every second and constantly checks up on your or tracks your phone
limits your access to cash or credit/debit cards and makes you account for every dollar you spend
limits your access to a car or makes you feel as if you can’t leave home whenever you want

2 – Cuts you off from friends and family. If your partner makes you ask permission to spend time with other people or becomes angry when you want to spend time with friends or family, that’s a warning sign. If he/she humiliates or embarrasses you or treats you so badly in front of other people that you avoid spending time with others, that’s also a warning sign. An abuser wants to isolate you so that other people won’t realize what’s happening and so that you feel trapped.

3 – Moves too fast. As your relationship progresses, an abusive person may push the relationship too quickly. If this person can get you committed very quickly, he/she can gain more control over you. If you feel like things are moving too fast, trust your gut. Maybe your boyfriend/girlfriend is pressuring you to become physically intimate before you’re ready or is pressuring you to move in together or to get married before you’re ready. Maybe your partner is making grand gestures or expensive purchases for you very early in the relationship that make you feel obligated to stay in the relationship. If things are moving too quickly, don’t hesitate to speak up. Trust your gut.

4 – Blames and threatens. When things go wrong, does your partner blame you? Are all past relationship problems completely an ex-partner’s fault? Does your partner regularly blame a parent or a boss or a co-worker for problems without ever taking responsibility? Maybe your partner randomly accuses you of having an affair or of some other offense that you haven’t done. Abusers want to feel superior to others, and blaming is one way to accomplish that. Threatening is another way an abusive person feels in control and intimidates a partner. If your partner threatens to hurt you or your family, that’s a major red flag. If your partner threatens to harm himself or herself or threatens to commit suicide if you don’t do what he/she says, that’s also a red flag you shouldn’t ignore. If your partner threatens to leave you and take your children so you can’t see them or threatens to harm your children, that’s also a red flag you can’t ignore.

5 – Verbal or physical or sexual violence. Any time a partner screams insults at you, curses you, or makes you feel belittled, that’s verbal abuse and could escalate to physical violence. If your partner gets angry and punches a wall or throws things or breaks things, that’s a huge red flag that physical violence is a possibility. And if your partner physically hurts you or forces you to have any kind of sex or touches you when you don’t want to be touched, you’re already being abused. Even if it’s only happened once or twice or even if you weren’t “really hurt,” it’s still domestic abuse.

If you notice any of these warning signs in your relationship, we encourage you to find someone to talk to – whether it’s a trusted friend or family member or a professional. Abusers are often really good at hiding who they really are, so even your closest friends and family may not see what’s going on. Trust your gut. If you’re afraid you’re being abused, that’s a pretty good sign that your relationship isn’t a healthy one. And the longer you stay, the more danger you’re in and the more difficult it will be to get out.

You deserve a safe, respectful, healthy relationship. If you feel like your relationship isn’t safe or respectful or healthy, we’re available to help you. Call us, and we can refer you to professionals or organizations with the resources and guidance you need.

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My Partner is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, But I’m Not Sure

February 10, 2026

An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever. Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

January 23, 2026

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

How to Handle Holiday Gatherings When You Haven’t Shared Your Pregnancy News Yet

December 17, 2025

Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try: Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .