How Does Abortion Affect Men?

When we talk about abortion, it’s almost always in terms of women’s rights or how women are affected. Of course, this makes sense because the woman is the one who is pregnant for forty weeks and has to deliver a baby. But men are affected by it as well. And we think there’s room in the conversation to talk about that.

First, let’s talk about the men who’ve just found out about an unexpected pregnancy and how the abortion decision could affect you. Then we’ll talk about men who’ve already been impacted by a decision.

If you’re facing a surprise pregnancy, your partner might be considering ending the pregnancy. What can you do? Legally, you do not have a say. The courts have decided that, because the stakes are higher for women, and pregnancy and abortion affects a woman more directly, the woman has the sole choice in the matter. She doesn’t even have to notify you. So legally, you don’t have a part in the decision. But practically, you do have a role. If your partner tells you she is pregnant, you have an opportunity to be a part of the decision. So what can you do?

Listen in a way that honors your partner, and be honest about your own feelings. If you’re opposed to the option of ending the pregnancy, speak up in a kind and respectful way. Have all the hard conversations with honesty and integrity so that you won’t have any regrets later. Say everything you need to say. Offer everything you have to offer. This is the moment to step up and take ownership of the situation and be as honest as you possibly can be. Often, women say that if their partner is supportive and willing to co-parent, it makes a difference in their choice. So your words and actions can definitely impact your partner’s decisions.

Talk through your options with people who can give wise advice. Talk to a medical professional, but also talk to a counselor or to someone who has been in a similar situation. Consider all the options and listen to their experiences and advice. Perhaps some concern that frightens you the most will be calmed or eliminated through those conversations.

If you and your partner choose abortion, it doesn’t magically make the entire situation go away. True, she won’t be pregnant anymore, and you won’t have a child to raise. But there are lingering effects. As with any medical procedure, your partner could have medical complications. And it’s common for couples who’ve had abortions to experience grief. Some men and women experience depression, anxiety, and even PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). The emotional side effects can be especially stressful on a relationship because it’s easy for blame or resentment to take root. Many couples make this choice thinking they’ll preserve their relationship, but oftentimes it increases problems and leads to their relationship ending.

If you’ve already been involved in an abortion decision, you may have some feelings about that. Because it’s is such a controversial issue, many people don’t talk about their abortion experiences. This leaves people to handle it all alone. Men may especially feel like they don’t have a right to talk about it because it’s primarily a woman’s issue. You might feel it’s not your story to tell.

But you have been affected. And it’s OK to feel whatever emotions you’re experiencing.

Some men coerce women into ending her pregnancy and then feel immense guilt or shame later on. Some men pay for the procedure and then feel solely responsible for the decision. Some men withdraw or abandon a partner to make the choice alone and then feel regret for not stepping up. Some men don’t want an abortion, but your partner has one anyway. And you grieve.

All of these emotions are OK. Abortion can be a traumatic event. It’s normal to feel grief, guilt, relief-then-grief, shame, fear, regret, and a loss of control. An unexpected pregnancy and an abortion are life-changing events. They change your relationship with your partner, and they change you.

If you’re feeling the impacts of a past abortion experience, it’s important for you to know you don’t have to navigate those emotions alone. If you call or email us, we’ll connect you with resources and help.

If you and your partner are currently faced with this decision, it’s also important for you to know that you don’t have to do this alone. If you contact us, we’ll connect you with resources and help so that you can make the most informed decision. No matter what you decide, you’ll be impacted — it’s important you know all the information before you choose.

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What to Do When Friends and Family Are Pressuring You into an Abortion Decision

April 2, 2025

What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next. How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience. Mental Health and Pressure Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes. Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want. Ways to Handle the Pressure Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure. Give Yourself Time You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms. Learn About All Your Options Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with. Set Boundaries It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you. Advice from a Third Party Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle. This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment. You Are Not Alone Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision. Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty. Schedule a confidential appointment today.

The Role of Support Systems When Considering Abortion

March 7, 2025

Discovering you’re pregnant when you weren’t expecting can feel like the ground has shifted beneath you. A flood of questions may rush in. What do I do? Who can I talk to? How will this change my life? In moments like these, having a strong support system can make all the difference. The people around you—family, friends, a partner, or trusted mentors—can provide clarity, encouragement, and resources to help you navigate your options. Why Support Systems Matter It’s easy to feel isolated during an unexpected pregnancy with high stress and emotions. However, decisions made in isolation can be overwhelming and may lead to regret. Having a support system allows you to process your emotions, ask questions, and consider your next steps with a clear mind. Those who care about you can offer reassurance and help you explore the emotional, physical, and practical aspects of your decision. Avoiding Pressure and Outside Influence Unfortunately, some women experience pressure from their partner, family members, or even friends to make a decision they aren’t comfortable with. A healthy support system respects your right to make an informed choice without coercion. If you’re feeling pressured, it’s essential to reach out to someone who will listen, not dictate. Support should come from those who uplift and empower you, not those who push you into a choice based on their preferences. Seeking Reliable Information It’s crucial to have access to accurate medical information about abortion, its risks, and its alternatives. A strong support system can help you connect with organizations (such as Collage ) that offer factual, judgment-free care. You can also seek help from professional counselors or a mentor, but ultimately, surrounding yourself with people who prioritize your well-being can bring insight and peace of mind to your decision-making process. We’re Here For You At Collage, we understand how important support is when considering your options. We offer free and confidential pregnancy services, including lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, abortion information, and more so you can make an informed choice. Even if you don’t feel you have a support system in your life, you have one with us. Reach out today to learn more about how we’re here for you.

Why Does an Ultrasound Matter if I’m Considering Abortion?

February 13, 2025

If you’re thinking about abortion, an ultrasound is a crucial step to gather essential information about your pregnancy. It provides key details that can help determine which options are available to you and ensures your health and safety as you make this important decision. At Collage , we offer free limited OB ultrasounds to give you the clarity and support you need, as well as more information on your pregnancy options. Ultrasounds During Pregnancy An ultrasound is a diagnostic tool that uses sound waves to create detailed images of your body. These images provide vital insights into your pregnancy, helping you make an informed decision. Here are three critical pieces of information an ultrasound can reveal: 1. The Location of Your Pregnancy An ultrasound can confirm if your pregnancy is located in the uterus. Sometimes, a pregnancy can implant outside the uterus, typically in a fallopian tube, resulting in an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is a serious condition that cannot result in a live birth and requires immediate medical attention to avoid a life-threatening situation. Even if you’re considering abortion, identifying an ectopic pregnancy through ultrasound is essential to protect your health. 2. How Far Along You Are (Gestational Age) Understanding how far along you are is critical for determining which abortion options you can access. For example, the abortion pill is FDA-approved only for pregnancies up to ten weeks gestation. If your pregnancy is further along, a surgical abortion would be the alternative option available, depending on the circumstances. Period-tracking apps can estimate gestational age, but they lack the accuracy of an ultrasound, which can precisely date your pregnancy. 3. Whether Your Pregnancy Is Progressing Not all pregnancies continue as expected—approximately 26% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. An ultrasound can detect if a miscarriage has occurred so you can follow up with the appropriate care plan. Protect Your Health As you can see, an ultrasound is an essential step in protecting your health and understanding your options. You deserve to make an informed and confident decision and the free limited OB ultrasounds Collage provides will help you to do just that. Contact us today to schedule your appointment. Our care and support are designed to help you through this crucial time. Let us be a source of strength for you.