I Think My Teenager is Having Sex. What Do I Do?
April 15, 2017
First, let’s take a breath. It’s understandable that you’re freaking out a bit. But let’s take a step back.
Why do you think your teenager is having sex? Have you found condoms in your child’s room? Did your daughter ask to be put on birth control? Have you seen your child making out with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is your teenager asking questions about sex?
After you calmly consider what evidence or circumstances lead you to believe your teenager could be sexually active, it’s time to plan out a conversation. Practice in front of the mirror if you need to, but your child needs to know you can handle whatever information unfolds in the conversation.
We think it’s good to keep these goals in mind as you talk with your teenager.
- We want our teenagers to be safe and healthy. So talk about how we protect ourselves from STDs and unintended pregnancies. The only way to avoid contracting an STD is to be in a mutually monogamous relationship with another person who does not have an STD. That means both of you are only having any form of sex (vaginal, oral, anal, or genital contact) with each other and neither of you had a STD when you began having sex. And the only way to 100% avoid pregnancy is to not have vaginal sex at all. Calmly explaining that you want your teen to be safe and healthy goes a lot farther than simply listing rules or losing your cool.
- We want our teenagers to have healthy relationships. Help your teen know what a healthy relationship looks like. Gently ask questions in a non-judgmental way to discover if your teenager has been pressured into having sex or if his or her relationship is rooted in respect, trust and love.
- We want to maintain a loving relationship with our teenager. If there’s anything we’ve learned along the way, it’s that teens have a will and mind of their own. We cannot control them. We can, however, control our own reactions and responses. To be loving, you don’t have to approve of your teenager’s decisions. But it is important to assure and reassure them that your love is unconditional and that you value him or her, no matter what.
Keeping these goals in mind as you have a conversation (not a lecture) with your teen will help steer the discussion away from shaming. You can’t force your child or shame your child into making the decisions you think are best. But you can lovingly ask questions, listen to answers and help your teenager discover which choices will most likely lead to safe, healthy relationships.
Please remember we’re here to help. If your teenager is sexually active, we offer confidential STD and pregnancy tests at no cost to you. We can also help your child navigate relationship decisions.
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If you're considering abortion, there's one medical step that protects your health before anything else. An ultrasound confirms your pregnancy and provides information that a positive test alone cannot.
If you’ve recently learned you are pregnant unexpectedly, we understand how overwhelming this might feel right now. If you're considering abortion as an option, taking time to understand how the process works is important so you can make an informed decision. Collage is here to help provide you with confidential support and abortion information at no cost. We offer a safe space, free of judgment, where you can think calmly about your options, receive lab-quality pregnancy testing, and get a complimentary ultrasound so you can get the facts around your pregnancy and learn what options are available to you. Schedule your free appointment today. Medical Abortion Medical abortion, also known as the abortion pill, ends a pregnancy by using two drugs taken at different times. The first pill, mifepristone, works by blocking progesterone and causes the embryo’s death. The second drug, called misoprostol, is usually taken a day or two after and causes the uterus to contract, expelling the pregnancy tissue through cramping and bleeding. Common side effects can include bleeding and cramping, bleeding with blood clots, and a low-grade fever. Medical abortion is only approved through ten weeks of gestation by the FDA . Follow-up care is typically recommended after a medical abortion to make sure the process is complete. Surgical Abortion Surgical abortion terminates a pregnancy in a clinic or medical setting and involves removing pregnancy tissue from the uterus through a suction device or a tool called a curette. This can also be called dilation and evacuation or dilation and curettage . Common side effects of surgical abortions are bleeding and cramps. You may also have a late or early period as your uterus has to build a new lining after the procedure. What Are The Risks Of Abortion? Medical and surgical abortion both have possible risks that you should be aware of. Some women may also experience emotional responses afterward. Complications that can arise from abortion are: Infection. Scar tissue on the uterine wall, known as Asherman's syndrome . Heavy bleeding that may not stop. Diarrhea and digestive pain. An incomplete abortion. Confirm Your Pregnancy With An Ultrasound Before making a pregnancy decision, it is important to verify your pregnancy with an ultrasound. An ultrasound provides important medical details such as how far along you are, the location of the pregnancy, and whether a heartbeat is detected. These details are important since the abortion pill is not FDA-approved for over ten weeks, and it also rules out ectopic pregnancy, which requires urgent medical attention. As many as 26% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage, and you can still get a positive pregnancy test result for days or weeks after a miscarriage because it takes time for hCG to leave the body. An ultrasound will confirm whether or not you have miscarried. We provide no-cost pregnancy services at our center, including limited OB ultrasounds, so you can get informed about your pregnancy and options. Get Pregnancy Support at College If you're considering your next step after learning you are unexpectedly pregnant, we are here to give you a safe place to ask questions and learn more about your options. Collage provides confidential appointments and no-cost pregnancy services, including medical-grade pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, and STD testing . You don’t have to figure this out alone. We are here to listen. Schedule your free confidential appointment to learn more about your options. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
