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I Think My Teenager is Having Sex. What Do I Do?

April 15, 2017

First, let’s take a breath. It’s understandable that you’re freaking out a bit. But let’s take a step back.


Why do you think your teenager is having sex? Have you found condoms in your child’s room? Did your daughter ask to be put on birth control? Have you seen your child making out with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is your teenager asking questions about sex?


After you calmly consider what evidence or circumstances lead you to believe your teenager could be sexually active, it’s time to plan out a conversation. Practice in front of the mirror if you need to, but your child needs to know you can handle whatever information unfolds in the conversation.


We think it’s good to keep these goals in mind as you talk with your teenager.

  • We want our teenagers to be safe and healthy. So talk about how we protect ourselves from STDs and unintended pregnancies. The only way to avoid contracting an STD is to be in a mutually monogamous relationship with another person who does not have an STD. That means both of you are only having any form of sex (vaginal, oral, anal, or genital contact) with each other and neither of you had a STD when you began having sex. And the only way to 100% avoid pregnancy is to not have vaginal sex at all. Calmly explaining that you want your teen to be safe and healthy goes a lot farther than simply listing rules or losing your cool.


  • We want our teenagers to have healthy relationships. Help your teen know what a healthy relationship looks like. Gently ask questions in a non-judgmental way to discover if your teenager has been pressured into having sex or if his or her relationship is rooted in respect, trust and love.


  • We want to maintain a loving relationship with our teenager. If there’s anything we’ve learned along the way, it’s that teens have a will and mind of their own. We cannot control them. We can, however, control our own reactions and responses. To be loving, you don’t have to approve of your teenager’s decisions. But it is important to assure and reassure them that your love is unconditional and that you value him or her, no matter what.


Keeping these goals in mind as you have a conversation (not a lecture) with your teen will help steer the discussion away from shaming. You can’t force your child or shame your child into making the decisions you think are best. But you can lovingly ask questions, listen to answers and help your teenager discover which choices will most likely lead to safe, healthy relationships.



Please remember we’re here to help. If your teenager is sexually active, we offer confidential STD and pregnancy tests at no cost to you. We can also help your child navigate relationship decisions.

January 2, 2025
Following the 2024 election, many people have questions about Nebraska's abortion laws and whether the state has enacted a complete ban. Abortion is not entirely banned in Nebraska. A proposed measure to add abortion to the state constitution failed during the 2024 election, while a separate measure that enshrined the current 12-week ban passed. What is the Law? The state currently allows abortion up to 12 weeks but with specific exceptions for certain circumstances. These exceptions include: Cases of rape or incest. Medical emergencies where the life of the mother is at risk or where continuing the pregnancy would result in irreversible physical harm. The legislation aims to balance restrictions with considerations for the health and safety of women under exceptional circumstances. What Does This Mean for Women in Nebraska? For women facing an unexpected pregnancy, Nebraska’s current abortion laws mean you have to be aware of the status of your pregnancy, especially for those who may not meet the legal exceptions. It’s important to seek timely medical confirmation of your pregnancy to understand your options. If you are unsure about how far along you are or have concerns about your pregnancy, seeking an ultrasound and professional advice can help clarify your situation and determine your next steps. Looking for Pregnancy Support? If you’re navigating an unexpected pregnancy and need support, Collage is here to help. We offer no-cost pregnancy services, including pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, and information on your options in a compassionate and confidential environment. Our team is dedicated to empowering women by providing accurate information and resources tailored to your needs. Although we do not perform or refer for abortion, we can give you medical-based details on this option and others. You don’t have to face this alone. Contact Collage today to schedule your appointment and get the support you need during this time. * All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
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