I Think My Teenager is Having Sex. What Do I Do?
April 15, 2017
First, let’s take a breath. It’s understandable that you’re freaking out a bit. But let’s take a step back.
Why do you think your teenager is having sex? Have you found condoms in your child’s room? Did your daughter ask to be put on birth control? Have you seen your child making out with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is your teenager asking questions about sex?
After you calmly consider what evidence or circumstances lead you to believe your teenager could be sexually active, it’s time to plan out a conversation. Practice in front of the mirror if you need to, but your child needs to know you can handle whatever information unfolds in the conversation.
We think it’s good to keep these goals in mind as you talk with your teenager.
- We want our teenagers to be safe and healthy. So talk about how we protect ourselves from STDs and unintended pregnancies. The only way to avoid contracting an STD is to be in a mutually monogamous relationship with another person who does not have an STD. That means both of you are only having any form of sex (vaginal, oral, anal, or genital contact) with each other and neither of you had a STD when you began having sex. And the only way to 100% avoid pregnancy is to not have vaginal sex at all. Calmly explaining that you want your teen to be safe and healthy goes a lot farther than simply listing rules or losing your cool.
- We want our teenagers to have healthy relationships. Help your teen know what a healthy relationship looks like. Gently ask questions in a non-judgmental way to discover if your teenager has been pressured into having sex or if his or her relationship is rooted in respect, trust and love.
- We want to maintain a loving relationship with our teenager. If there’s anything we’ve learned along the way, it’s that teens have a will and mind of their own. We cannot control them. We can, however, control our own reactions and responses. To be loving, you don’t have to approve of your teenager’s decisions. But it is important to assure and reassure them that your love is unconditional and that you value him or her, no matter what.
Keeping these goals in mind as you have a conversation (not a lecture) with your teen will help steer the discussion away from shaming. You can’t force your child or shame your child into making the decisions you think are best. But you can lovingly ask questions, listen to answers and help your teenager discover which choices will most likely lead to safe, healthy relationships.
Please remember we’re here to help. If your teenager is sexually active, we offer confidential STD and pregnancy tests at no cost to you. We can also help your child navigate relationship decisions.
If you took the first abortion pill, it’s possible to start wishing you hadn’t. The regret may have hit you immediately, or it might have taken a few hours to realize that you want to continue the pregnancy. Either way, there may still be something you can do: abortion pill reversal (APR) may be an option. The first drug used in the abortion pill regimen is usually mifepristone. If you have taken mifepristone but now want to continue your pregnancy, call the Abortion Pill Reversal Network at 1-877-558-0333 right away. Their Helpline is available 24/7 and can connect you with a medical provider who can administer APR. If You Have Only Taken the First Pill Mifepristone works by blocking progesterone. Progesterone helps maintain the lining of the uterus during pregnancy. When this hormone is blocked, the uterine lining thins, and the pregnancy ends. The second drug in the abortion pill regimen is misoprostol , which causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy. Abortion pill reversal involves giving progesterone after mifepristone in an effort to allow the pregnancy to continue. Don’t Wait for Symptoms Before Calling You may wonder whether you should wait before deciding what to do. But if you want to try to continue the pregnancy, call first. It’s critical to start the protocol as soon as possible, ideally within 24 to 48 hours of taking mifepristone. However, you should still call even when more time has passed; it may not be too late. A medical provider can determine whether APR may still be appropriate. Does Reversal Always Work? Abortion pill reversal cannot guarantee that the pregnancy will continue. One published study reported ongoing pregnancy rates of approximately 64% to 68% with certain progesterone regimens, but individual outcomes vary. The important thing is to get medical guidance quickly rather than trying to determine your chances on your own. What if You Already Took Misoprostol? If you have already taken misoprostol, contact a healthcare professional promptly and explain exactly what you took and when. You should also seek immediate medical attention if you develop symptoms that concern you or believe you may be experiencing a medical emergency. Make the Call Now Changing your mind after taking mifepristone can be frightening, especially when you’re unsure whether there is still time to act. You don’t need to figure that out yourself. Call the Abortion Pill Reversal Network at 1-877-558-0333 as soon as possible and tell them when you took mifepristone. They can explain whether abortion pill reversal may still be an option and connect you with an appropriate provider. You can also contact Collage if you need someone to speak with while you work through your next steps. We’re here to help you. *Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. **All abortion information in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
Seeing another positive pregnancy test after having had a past abortion may bring up memories or emotions from that experience. If you already know you don’t want another abortion, you may be wondering what other choices you have and whether either feels realistic for your life right now. You have time to learn about your options and the available support. Collage is here to give you a place to discuss your circumstances so you can decide what’s right for you. Schedule a no-cost appointment today to learn more about your pregnancy and what your next steps could look like. And read on to learn more about your pregnancy options besides abortion. Consider What Parenting Would Require You may want to parent but have concerns about whether you can make it work. Finances, housing, childcare, your relationship, work, or school can all influence how possible this option feels right now. Before deciding that those challenges make parenting unrealistic, it can help to identify your biggest concerns individually. Some of those concerns may have solutions you haven’t considered yet. Think about the support you already have, along with what you would need during pregnancy and after your baby arrives. Knowing where the gaps are can make it easier to find resources rather than trying to solve everything at once. Learn More About Adoption If you don’t want another abortion but aren’t ready to parent, adoption is another option. Today, a woman making an adoption plan can have a significant role in deciding what that plan looks like. Depending on the type of adoption, you may be able to choose an adoptive family and decide what level of contact you would like after placement. Open, semi-open, and closed adoption offer different levels of communication and privacy. Speaking with a licensed adoption professional can help you understand these differences, your rights, and what the process would involve before you make any commitments. Discuss Your Options in a Confidential Space Having had an abortion before does not mean you have to make the same pregnancy decision again. Your feelings, circumstances, priorities, or perspective may be different this time. If you know you don’t want another abortion, start by learning what parenting and adoption could realistically look like in your current situation. Collage provides a place to talk about your pregnancy and the concerns influencing your decision. We can also connect you with adoption agencies and community organizations that provide the support you’re seeking. Reaching out doesn’t lock you into a specific decision. Schedule a no-cost appointment with Collage today to get your questions answered and explore the options available to you. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
If your girlfriend is facing an unexpected pregnancy and considering the abortion pill, you're probably wondering about costs and whether insurance will cover it.
