I Think My Teenager is Having Sex. What Do I Do?

April 15, 2017
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First, let’s take a breath. It’s understandable that you’re freaking out a bit. But let’s take a step back.


Why do you think your teenager is having sex? Have you found condoms in your child’s room? Did your daughter ask to be put on birth control? Have you seen your child making out with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is your teenager asking questions about sex?


After you calmly consider what evidence or circumstances lead you to believe your teenager could be sexually active, it’s time to plan out a conversation. Practice in front of the mirror if you need to, but your child needs to know you can handle whatever information unfolds in the conversation.


We think it’s good to keep these goals in mind as you talk with your teenager.

  • We want our teenagers to be safe and healthy. So talk about how we protect ourselves from STDs and unintended pregnancies. The only way to avoid contracting an STD is to be in a mutually monogamous relationship with another person who does not have an STD. That means both of you are only having any form of sex (vaginal, oral, anal, or genital contact) with each other and neither of you had a STD when you began having sex. And the only way to 100% avoid pregnancy is to not have vaginal sex at all. Calmly explaining that you want your teen to be safe and healthy goes a lot farther than simply listing rules or losing your cool.


  • We want our teenagers to have healthy relationships. Help your teen know what a healthy relationship looks like. Gently ask questions in a non-judgmental way to discover if your teenager has been pressured into having sex or if his or her relationship is rooted in respect, trust and love.


  • We want to maintain a loving relationship with our teenager. If there’s anything we’ve learned along the way, it’s that teens have a will and mind of their own. We cannot control them. We can, however, control our own reactions and responses. To be loving, you don’t have to approve of your teenager’s decisions. But it is important to assure and reassure them that your love is unconditional and that you value him or her, no matter what.


Keeping these goals in mind as you have a conversation (not a lecture) with your teen will help steer the discussion away from shaming. You can’t force your child or shame your child into making the decisions you think are best. But you can lovingly ask questions, listen to answers and help your teenager discover which choices will most likely lead to safe, healthy relationships.



Please remember we’re here to help. If your teenager is sexually active, we offer confidential STD and pregnancy tests at no cost to you. We can also help your child navigate relationship decisions.

What Can Guys Do with an Unexpected Pregnancy?

By Kirsten Berns • October 28, 2025
Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity.  Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.