I’m Pregnant. What Are My Options?
September 22, 2018
The test is positive. You saw the plus sign at the end of the stick and you verified it with your doctor. You weren’t planning for this, but you’re pregnant.
Scared. Angry. Worried. Overwhelmed. It’s completely normal to be feeling all these emotions right now. Facing an unexpected pregnancy is a big deal. It can be extremely stressful and terrifying. Though ultimately, you’re the one who will make the decisions about this pregnancy, you aren’t alone. And, even if your partner isn’t involved, you don’t have to handle this all by yourself.
Your first thought might be, What am I going to do? You might be feeling so overcome by emotions or fear that you don’t even know what your options are.
Even though this might feel like an urgent problem, the good news is that you don’t have to make any decision immediately. Often times when we react immediately to our circumstances and make choices based off emotions we don’t always end up making the best decision for ourselves. Give yourself the gift of time to breathe and sort out all the different emotions you’re feeling. Then, when you’re ready, you can think about your options and your next right step.
When facing a pregnancy, you really have three legal options:
- Parenting - You can choose to have and raise your baby – either alone or with the help of your partner or your family.
- Adoption - You can choose to place your baby for adoption. If you decide on adoption, you can choose how much you want to be involved in the process and whether you want to remain in contact with your child and the adoptive family.
- Abortion - You can choose to have an abortion. The laws for abortion vary from state to state, and some states require parental consent for anyone under the age of 18.
Maybe you already know which option you’d choose. Or maybe you need help sorting through the decision process. Perhaps asking yourself these questions will help you come to the decision that is best for you.
- How do I feel about being pregnant? Are you excited and happy with the idea of a baby, but sad about the timing? Are you completely devastated and feeling like your life is over? Are you worried about how other people will respond? Are you scared about whether or not you’re ready to be a parent? Taking time to examine and write down your feelings will help you know what you really want to do.
- What do I want to be doing in my life in the next year, three years, and five years? Make a list of the goals you have for yourself. How does a baby fit in with those goals? Maybe parenting a baby will change your timeline or the process a bit, but you can see yourself making it work. Maybe you know that parenting just isn’t at all what you want to be doing for the next few years.
- What do I have to gain from having and raising a baby now? What do I have to lose? Make lists and weigh them against each other.
- Can I financially afford to raise a baby? What resources do you have available? Do you have insurance? A job? A partner or family to help out? Are there resources in your community to assist you? Do you qualify for government assistance?
- What does my partner, the other parent of this baby, think? What does my family think? Though the decision is ultimately yours to make, it can be helpful to consider the opinions of other people affected by this.
- Am I being pressured toward one choice? If someone is pressuring you toward a decision, consider whether you’ll live with regret for the choice you’re being pressured toward.
- Do I have strong values or beliefs about abortion, adoption, or parenting? If you have strong beliefs either for or against something, that is definitely something you want to consider when making a choice. If you make a choice against your own values, you’ll probably have a difficult time making peace with that decision.
- What do I know about abortion and potential risks? It may seem like a clear-cut decision but there are a lot of things to consider. Would it be medical or surgical? Is it safe? Is it painful? Could it affect me later? Can anyone force me to have one?
- Do I have a network of people to support me in my decision? Are there people who will offer emotional support if you choose an abortion? Will the people in your life support a choice of arranging an adoption? Do you have a system of support to help if you choose to have and raise your baby?
It can also be helpful to write these sentences down and fill in the blanks:
- The idea of becoming a parent right now makes me feel ________________.
- The idea of placing my child for adoption makes me feel ________________.
- The idea of having an abortion makes me feel _____________.
As you consider your options, you may find it helpful to talk with your partner, a trusted family member, or a friend. And if you don’t know who to talk to, you can definitely call us. Our staff is here for you. Many of us know what it’s like to face difficult decisions like this. There’s no judgment here. We’ll listen and offer information and resources so that you can make an informed decision about what’s best for you.
Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity. Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.
When considering abortion, it’s natural to wonder how the decision could affect your mental health. While every woman’s experience is different, being aware of possible emotional impacts and taking time to reflect on your circumstances can help you make an informed choice. At Collage, we provide free, confidential support so you don’t have to navigate these questions alone. Our staff is here to listen, answer your questions, and connect you with the resources you need as you process your options. Contact us to schedule your appointment today. What Research Suggests Research has shown that abortion can lead to a range of emotional responses. The American Psychological Association notes that some women experience grief, sadness, or even clinically significant issues like depression and anxiety afterward. Certain factors may make these outcomes more likely, such as: A history of mental health challenges Pressure from others to make a decision Lack of support or secrecy about the pregnancy Strong personal, cultural, or spiritual beliefs Wanting to continue the pregnancy but feeling unable to Recognizing how these factors may apply to your situation can help you prepare and seek support. You Have Other Options You are the one who will live with this decision, so it’s important not to rush. Confirming your pregnancy with a lab- quality test and ultrasound can provide clarity and help you understand your options, which include parenting and adoption. Speaking with a counselor or a healthcare professional can also give you space to process your feelings without judgment. We’re Here for You At Collage, we offer free pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds, and confidential consultations so you can explore your options with accurate information and compassionate support. Schedule your free appointment today. You deserve the time, space, and care to make a confident decision with your mental health top of mind. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do provide pre-abortion screenings.
