I’m Pregnant. What Are My Options?
September 22, 2018
The test is positive. You saw the plus sign at the end of the stick and you verified it with your doctor. You weren’t planning for this, but you’re pregnant.
Scared. Angry. Worried. Overwhelmed. It’s completely normal to be feeling all these emotions right now. Facing an unexpected pregnancy is a big deal. It can be extremely stressful and terrifying. Though ultimately, you’re the one who will make the decisions about this pregnancy, you aren’t alone. And, even if your partner isn’t involved, you don’t have to handle this all by yourself.
Your first thought might be, What am I going to do? You might be feeling so overcome by emotions or fear that you don’t even know what your options are.
Even though this might feel like an urgent problem, the good news is that you don’t have to make any decision immediately. Often times when we react immediately to our circumstances and make choices based off emotions we don’t always end up making the best decision for ourselves. Give yourself the gift of time to breathe and sort out all the different emotions you’re feeling. Then, when you’re ready, you can think about your options and your next right step.
When facing a pregnancy, you really have three legal options:
- Parenting - You can choose to have and raise your baby – either alone or with the help of your partner or your family.
- Adoption - You can choose to place your baby for adoption. If you decide on adoption, you can choose how much you want to be involved in the process and whether you want to remain in contact with your child and the adoptive family.
- Abortion - You can choose to have an abortion. The laws for abortion vary from state to state, and some states require parental consent for anyone under the age of 18.
Maybe you already know which option you’d choose. Or maybe you need help sorting through the decision process. Perhaps asking yourself these questions will help you come to the decision that is best for you.
- How do I feel about being pregnant? Are you excited and happy with the idea of a baby, but sad about the timing? Are you completely devastated and feeling like your life is over? Are you worried about how other people will respond? Are you scared about whether or not you’re ready to be a parent? Taking time to examine and write down your feelings will help you know what you really want to do.
- What do I want to be doing in my life in the next year, three years, and five years? Make a list of the goals you have for yourself. How does a baby fit in with those goals? Maybe parenting a baby will change your timeline or the process a bit, but you can see yourself making it work. Maybe you know that parenting just isn’t at all what you want to be doing for the next few years.
- What do I have to gain from having and raising a baby now? What do I have to lose? Make lists and weigh them against each other.
- Can I financially afford to raise a baby? What resources do you have available? Do you have insurance? A job? A partner or family to help out? Are there resources in your community to assist you? Do you qualify for government assistance?
- What does my partner, the other parent of this baby, think? What does my family think? Though the decision is ultimately yours to make, it can be helpful to consider the opinions of other people affected by this.
- Am I being pressured toward one choice? If someone is pressuring you toward a decision, consider whether you’ll live with regret for the choice you’re being pressured toward.
- Do I have strong values or beliefs about abortion, adoption, or parenting? If you have strong beliefs either for or against something, that is definitely something you want to consider when making a choice. If you make a choice against your own values, you’ll probably have a difficult time making peace with that decision.
- What do I know about abortion and potential risks? It may seem like a clear-cut decision but there are a lot of things to consider. Would it be medical or surgical? Is it safe? Is it painful? Could it affect me later? Can anyone force me to have one?
- Do I have a network of people to support me in my decision? Are there people who will offer emotional support if you choose an abortion? Will the people in your life support a choice of arranging an adoption? Do you have a system of support to help if you choose to have and raise your baby?
It can also be helpful to write these sentences down and fill in the blanks:
- The idea of becoming a parent right now makes me feel ________________.
- The idea of placing my child for adoption makes me feel ________________.
- The idea of having an abortion makes me feel _____________.
As you consider your options, you may find it helpful to talk with your partner, a trusted family member, or a friend. And if you don’t know who to talk to, you can definitely call us. Our staff is here for you. Many of us know what it’s like to face difficult decisions like this. There’s no judgment here. We’ll listen and offer information and resources so that you can make an informed decision about what’s best for you.
Facing an unexpected pregnancy brings up a lot of questions, and it makes complete sense that you want to understand every option before deciding anything. If you're considering the abortion pill, knowing what it actually involves, including its side effects, is an important part of making a decision based on the facts. You don't have to sort through this alone. Schedule a no-cost appointment with Collage today to get your questions answered. How the Abortion Pill Works The abortion pill uses two drugs taken in sequence. The first, mifepristone, blocks progesterone, a hormone that supports the growth and development of the pregnancy. Without it, the pregnancy detaches from the uterine lining. The second drug, misoprostol, is typically taken at home and causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy tissue. Heavy bleeding and cramping will be part of this process, and some women have described the pain as more severe than they anticipated. Side Effects to Know Beyond bleeding and cramping, the abortion pill can also cause these side effects : Upset stomach Vomiting Diarrhea Headache Fever Chills These side effects vary from woman to woman, which is one reason having a healthcare provider involved matters. Without medical oversight, it can be difficult to know what's within the range of normal and what requires immediate attention. Your personal health history also plays a role in how your body responds. Speaking with a medical professional before proceeding is an important step in protecting your well-being. Why an Ultrasound Matters First Before considering any pregnancy option, an ultrasound provides information that a pregnancy test simply cannot. It can confirm whether the pregnancy is progressing, rule out an ectopic pregnancy , and tell you how far along you are. The FDA approves the abortion pill only through 10 weeks gestation, making that last detail a critical piece of information for your safety. We're Here for You Whatever you're feeling right now, there’s no pressure here. At Collage, we genuinely care about you and want to make sure you have everything you need to make a sound decision. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing and limited obstetrical ultrasounds, and our team is ready to talk through all your options, parenting, adoption, and abortion, in a warm, supportive environment. Schedule your no-cost appointment today. We're so glad you reached out. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
Facing an unexpected pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions, and often, a sense of urgency to make a decision quickly. You may have seen options online to order abortion pills by mail and wondered if it’s a simple solution. Before making a decision, it’s important to understand how this option could affect your health and what steps you can take to make a fully informed decision. 1. Your Health Should Always Come First Mail-order abortion often skips important medical safeguards. In many cases, there is no in-person evaluation before receiving the drugs. That means key health factors, such as your medical history and potential risks, will not be fully considered. There can also be uncertainty about the source of the drugs, including how they were handled, stored, or dosed. In fact, the FDA does not recommend this option because the drugs’ quality, safety, and effectiveness cannot be guaranteed. Taking time to understand your health first is a smart and proactive way to protect yourself. 2. You Need Clear Answers About Your Pregnancy A pregnancy test alone doesn’t give you the full picture. Before considering abortion, it’s important to confirm details about your pregnancy through an ultrasound. An ultrasound can tell you: How far along are you? Whether the pregnancy is developing (or if you’ve miscarried ) Where the pregnancy is located These details matter more than you might think. Abortion pills are FDA-approved only through 10 weeks of gestation, and without accurate dating, it’s possible to miscalculate how far along you are. An ultrasound can also detect an ectopic pregnancy , which occurs outside the uterus and requires immediate medical attention. Abortion pills will not treat this condition. What’s more, if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you may require medical follow-up to prevent complications. Getting these details first helps ensure your safety. We offer limited OB ultrasounds following positive lab-quality pregnancy testing with us. 3. It’s Important to Understand the Process and Risks Mail-order abortion may sound straightforward, but it’s important to know what it may actually involve. The process includes significant cramping and bleeding as the body expels the pregnancy, with some women describing the pain as being unexpectedly severe . Other side effects can include: Nausea or vomiting Fever or chills Diarrhea Headaches There are also potential risks , such as heavy bleeding, infection, or an incomplete abortion that may require additional medical care. Without in-person support, it can be difficult to know what’s expected and when something may need medical attention. You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone When everything feels overwhelming, it can help to take a moment to evaluate your next steps and get the information you need. At Collage, we provide no-cost, confidential services so you can ask questions, gather accurate information, and explore your options at your own pace in a one-on-one setting. Schedule your appointment today. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever. Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
