I’m Pregnant. What Are My Options?
September 22, 2018
The test is positive. You saw the plus sign at the end of the stick and you verified it with your doctor. You weren’t planning for this, but you’re pregnant.
Scared. Angry. Worried. Overwhelmed. It’s completely normal to be feeling all these emotions right now. Facing an unexpected pregnancy is a big deal. It can be extremely stressful and terrifying. Though ultimately, you’re the one who will make the decisions about this pregnancy, you aren’t alone. And, even if your partner isn’t involved, you don’t have to handle this all by yourself.
Your first thought might be, What am I going to do? You might be feeling so overcome by emotions or fear that you don’t even know what your options are.
Even though this might feel like an urgent problem, the good news is that you don’t have to make any decision immediately. Often times when we react immediately to our circumstances and make choices based off emotions we don’t always end up making the best decision for ourselves. Give yourself the gift of time to breathe and sort out all the different emotions you’re feeling. Then, when you’re ready, you can think about your options and your next right step.
When facing a pregnancy, you really have three legal options:
- Parenting - You can choose to have and raise your baby – either alone or with the help of your partner or your family.
- Adoption - You can choose to place your baby for adoption. If you decide on adoption, you can choose how much you want to be involved in the process and whether you want to remain in contact with your child and the adoptive family.
- Abortion - You can choose to have an abortion. The laws for abortion vary from state to state, and some states require parental consent for anyone under the age of 18.
Maybe you already know which option you’d choose. Or maybe you need help sorting through the decision process. Perhaps asking yourself these questions will help you come to the decision that is best for you.
- How do I feel about being pregnant? Are you excited and happy with the idea of a baby, but sad about the timing? Are you completely devastated and feeling like your life is over? Are you worried about how other people will respond? Are you scared about whether or not you’re ready to be a parent? Taking time to examine and write down your feelings will help you know what you really want to do.
- What do I want to be doing in my life in the next year, three years, and five years? Make a list of the goals you have for yourself. How does a baby fit in with those goals? Maybe parenting a baby will change your timeline or the process a bit, but you can see yourself making it work. Maybe you know that parenting just isn’t at all what you want to be doing for the next few years.
- What do I have to gain from having and raising a baby now? What do I have to lose? Make lists and weigh them against each other.
- Can I financially afford to raise a baby? What resources do you have available? Do you have insurance? A job? A partner or family to help out? Are there resources in your community to assist you? Do you qualify for government assistance?
- What does my partner, the other parent of this baby, think? What does my family think? Though the decision is ultimately yours to make, it can be helpful to consider the opinions of other people affected by this.
- Am I being pressured toward one choice? If someone is pressuring you toward a decision, consider whether you’ll live with regret for the choice you’re being pressured toward.
- Do I have strong values or beliefs about abortion, adoption, or parenting? If you have strong beliefs either for or against something, that is definitely something you want to consider when making a choice. If you make a choice against your own values, you’ll probably have a difficult time making peace with that decision.
- What do I know about abortion and potential risks? It may seem like a clear-cut decision but there are a lot of things to consider. Would it be medical or surgical? Is it safe? Is it painful? Could it affect me later? Can anyone force me to have one?
- Do I have a network of people to support me in my decision? Are there people who will offer emotional support if you choose an abortion? Will the people in your life support a choice of arranging an adoption? Do you have a system of support to help if you choose to have and raise your baby?
It can also be helpful to write these sentences down and fill in the blanks:
- The idea of becoming a parent right now makes me feel ________________.
- The idea of placing my child for adoption makes me feel ________________.
- The idea of having an abortion makes me feel _____________.
As you consider your options, you may find it helpful to talk with your partner, a trusted family member, or a friend. And if you don’t know who to talk to, you can definitely call us. Our staff is here for you. Many of us know what it’s like to face difficult decisions like this. There’s no judgment here. We’ll listen and offer information and resources so that you can make an informed decision about what’s best for you.
What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next. How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience. Mental Health and Pressure Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes. Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want. Ways to Handle the Pressure Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure. Give Yourself Time You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms. Learn About All Your Options Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with. Set Boundaries It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you. Advice from a Third Party Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle. This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment. You Are Not Alone Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision. Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty. Schedule a confidential appointment today.
Discovering you’re pregnant when you weren’t expecting can feel like the ground has shifted beneath you. A flood of questions may rush in. What do I do? Who can I talk to? How will this change my life? In moments like these, having a strong support system can make all the difference. The people around you—family, friends, a partner, or trusted mentors—can provide clarity, encouragement, and resources to help you navigate your options. Why Support Systems Matter It’s easy to feel isolated during an unexpected pregnancy with high stress and emotions. However, decisions made in isolation can be overwhelming and may lead to regret. Having a support system allows you to process your emotions, ask questions, and consider your next steps with a clear mind. Those who care about you can offer reassurance and help you explore the emotional, physical, and practical aspects of your decision. Avoiding Pressure and Outside Influence Unfortunately, some women experience pressure from their partner, family members, or even friends to make a decision they aren’t comfortable with. A healthy support system respects your right to make an informed choice without coercion. If you’re feeling pressured, it’s essential to reach out to someone who will listen, not dictate. Support should come from those who uplift and empower you, not those who push you into a choice based on their preferences. Seeking Reliable Information It’s crucial to have access to accurate medical information about abortion, its risks, and its alternatives. A strong support system can help you connect with organizations (such as Collage ) that offer factual, judgment-free care. You can also seek help from professional counselors or a mentor, but ultimately, surrounding yourself with people who prioritize your well-being can bring insight and peace of mind to your decision-making process. We’re Here For You At Collage, we understand how important support is when considering your options. We offer free and confidential pregnancy services, including lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, abortion information, and more so you can make an informed choice. Even if you don’t feel you have a support system in your life, you have one with us. Reach out today to learn more about how we’re here for you.
If you’re thinking about abortion, an ultrasound is a crucial step to gather essential information about your pregnancy. It provides key details that can help determine which options are available to you and ensures your health and safety as you make this important decision. At Collage , we offer free limited OB ultrasounds to give you the clarity and support you need, as well as more information on your pregnancy options. Ultrasounds During Pregnancy An ultrasound is a diagnostic tool that uses sound waves to create detailed images of your body. These images provide vital insights into your pregnancy, helping you make an informed decision. Here are three critical pieces of information an ultrasound can reveal: 1. The Location of Your Pregnancy An ultrasound can confirm if your pregnancy is located in the uterus. Sometimes, a pregnancy can implant outside the uterus, typically in a fallopian tube, resulting in an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is a serious condition that cannot result in a live birth and requires immediate medical attention to avoid a life-threatening situation. Even if you’re considering abortion, identifying an ectopic pregnancy through ultrasound is essential to protect your health. 2. How Far Along You Are (Gestational Age) Understanding how far along you are is critical for determining which abortion options you can access. For example, the abortion pill is FDA-approved only for pregnancies up to ten weeks gestation. If your pregnancy is further along, a surgical abortion would be the alternative option available, depending on the circumstances. Period-tracking apps can estimate gestational age, but they lack the accuracy of an ultrasound, which can precisely date your pregnancy. 3. Whether Your Pregnancy Is Progressing Not all pregnancies continue as expected—approximately 26% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. An ultrasound can detect if a miscarriage has occurred so you can follow up with the appropriate care plan. Protect Your Health As you can see, an ultrasound is an essential step in protecting your health and understanding your options. You deserve to make an informed and confident decision and the free limited OB ultrasounds Collage provides will help you to do just that. Contact us today to schedule your appointment. Our care and support are designed to help you through this crucial time. Let us be a source of strength for you.
